The Assistant
by Ataraxie
Summary: "I want Lily Potter back among us, Hermione." She was supposed to work with Severus Snape during a year as his apprentice. But now, she had to help him in his crazy journey against Death. And falling in love with her former professor wasn't a part of the plan... HG/SS.
1. I - Leaving the fear behind

Huge thanks to **Maria Ana** for her great work as a Beta Reader on this story! :)

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**Chapter I. Leaving the fear behind**

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."

- **Nelson Mandela**

* * *

"Merlin..."

With a sigh, Hermione dropped the parchment that she had opened enthusiastically a few seconds ago. She had wanted to be alone to discover the news. Finally, she had done well. She had to get over the shock before announcing it to her parents. Eventually, Hermione picked up the parchment between her fingertips and reread it once more with great attentiveness.

"_Dear Miss Hermione Granger,_

_ First and foremost, we want to congratulate you on obtaining your first year of Potions with the Optimal mention. At the end of your first year, you are required to follow a practical education with a Master of Potions appointed by the Ministry itself. As you know, these Masters are distributed according to several Classes, and having achieved the best marks in your examinations, we appointed you the best classified Master this year. You will thus follow your practical teachings together with Master Severus Snape, recently distinguished by the Order of Merlin. More information will be passed on to you the first day of your apprenticeship._

_Yours faithfully,_  
_ The Ministry of Magic_"

One year had passed since the end of the war. Not having received her NEWTs, Hermione had nevertheless managed to join a prestigious program of Advanced Potions, and had validated her first year easily. She couldn't say that it was her dream, far from it. A few years ago she had been fascinated by the study of Ancient Runes and envisioned a specialization in it once she had earned her diploma. However, she was not able to enlist into the program of Ancient Runes because she hadn't taken her NEWTs.

Minerva McGonagall had recommended she return to Hogwarts for a year to give her time to decide on her future afterward, but she hadn't wanted to envisage this option. She was already one year older than her classmates during her schooling, and didn't want to lose one more year. She had then turned to Potions, a noble subject but excessively demanding. She didn't feel that she had a "gift" for the subject, but she contented with following the instructions which she had read in books written by renowned authors, and it was enough to succeed.

But today, with the parchment which determined the name of her future Master of Potions in front of her, Hermione could not refrain from feeling a twinge of fear. Severus Snape... Her last six years at Hogwarts in his classes had taught her to know his character. Serious. Hard to please. She had certainly been afraid of him during those long years, for bad reasons. He had been rehabilitated one year earlier, just after the end of the war which had left him for dead. He had been found unconscious two days later in the Forbidden Forest, unable to give an explanation concerning his disparation. Hermione always wondered how this cold and distant man had been able to survive the attack of Nagini which she had witnessed first hand. The former Hogwarts professor never discussed it.

And now she was forced to study with him. Mentally, she admitted that she was lucky. Severus Snape had a brilliant mind, a Master capable of the best when he was surrounded with phials of all kinds. His talent was recognized by the whole profession, as well as worldwide. Hermione knew that she was fortunate to work alongside this monumental Potions Master.  
They would be required to work closely for a year, she thought while quickly reading the second parchment, attached to the first. She understood that she was going to have to live with the Master five days a week, weekends being free. An address was listed: Spinner's End. Hermione had heard Harry speak about it a long time ago. It was Snape's family house, previously left by Severus who had decided to live full-time at Hogwarts. She understood that he had repossessed the home, no longer teaching at the school.

It was the first year which he agreed to take an apprentice under his wing, and it only added pressure onto the shoulders of the 20-year-old woman. She had nobody whom she could question about the apprenticeship, she would be _the first one_.

Hermione glanced at the calendar hung on the wall of her room. She just had three days before the beginning of her apprenticeship. She dropped onto her bed, wondering how the reunion with her former professor would go. Would he be cynical towards her, as usual?

She eventually got up, throwing her long brown hair into a messy bun before making her way to the lounge, the letter in the hand. Her parents waited at the bottom of the staircase, an impatient air surrounding them. Her mother joined her hands, as if in prayer, and sent her a shy smile.

"So? Did you get the good news you've been waiting for?"

The young woman looked between her father and her mother. Her father, Paul Granger, had always been proud of his daughter, during both good and bad times. He was always present to tell her how great she was, and that she had to fight to have what she wanted. His graying hair gave him a learned air, and the beginning of baldness did not deprive him of nothing of the typical English charm. By his side, her mother Jane Granger was dressed in a waisted dress which she wore marvelously. Her hair, cut short, framed her fine face.

Hermione had spent the last year at her parents', returning every evening after her studies. She knew that it was going to be hard to leave them again. She was used to it after Hogwarts, but nevertheless, resuming these habits would be difficult for her. She stuck a slightly forced smile on her face, and eventually made her way down the staircase to meet them.

"They appointed me a very, very competent Master. I think that I'm satisfied by this choice."

Her mother embraced her, thrilled to see that her daughter was happy too, before realizing what she had just said.

"You think of _merely_ being satisfied?" she said, slightly frowning.

"I already know my Master of Potions. He was a professor at Hogwarts when I studied there. I'd be lying if I told you that he is pleasant." Hermione said.

"There's no way to find another Master, darling?" her father asked.

"No." She sighed. "And even if it were possible, I think that it is an amazing opportunity that I'm being offered. To personally study under Severus Snape is more than I could hope for. He is clearly one of the better Masters, if not the best in his domain. Really, I could not be more delighted" she concluded with a smile.

Her parents relaxed after awhile and ushered Hermione into the kitchen for some tea.

"We have to celebrate then" said her mother with a grin.

**XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_ Three days later_

Hermione glanced nervously at her watch. Eight o'clock in the morning. The owl that she had received the day before insisted punctuality. However, she had not needed to read the end ofparchment to know this: Severus Snape hated waiting. This is why she had woken up early to be perfectly on time for her meeting with the one with whom she was going to spend one whole year with. She had not brought her suitcases just yet, expecting a presentation day more than a working one.

Arriving in front of the number 14, she took a deep breath. The garden which was in front of the house was in poor condition, and she wondered then if the inside of the house was the same. Certainly Severus Snape had not lived there for very many years, but she hoped that an effort had been made for her arrived. Just as this idea occurred to her, she laughed at herself. Severus Snape was not the kind to look after the arrival of his guests. The lesspeople approached him, the better he was.

Hermione clutched her bag and began to walk the path which led to the home of her Master of Potions. She was ready to bang on the heavy oak door when it suddenly opened. In front of her stood the most imposing man that she'd ever seen. Draped in his long black cape in spite of the beginning of September, stringy raven colored hair framing his face, he held the door with his left hand and observed her fixedly. Hermione swallowed with difficulty, and forced a strained smile to relax the heavy atmosphere which had settled between them.

"Good morning, Profe..."

"Master Snape." he whispered. "And I shall ask you to show yourself punctual in the future, Miss Granger."

Without another word to her, he walked away from the open door. Hermione remained motionless in the doorway for a few moments before Severus' voice brutally startled her.

"May I ask what you are waiting for? An invitation, perhap?"

She entered quickly, closing the door behind her. Hermione had to blink several times to become used to the darkness which reigned in the house. There were lights lit,certainly, but it didn't amount to the sun which shone outside. A look towards the windows gave her the answer to the lack of light, he kept the shutters half-closed.

Her hand clenched her leather bag harder and she noticed Severus a few feet away from her. He lasciviously sat in an armchair near a rickety bookcase, watching her. She could not distinguish his features due not only to the distance but also the lack of light, and she contented herself with waiting until he spoke. Being in the same room as her former professor had always been difficult for her but to be alone in his company was even more so

"I see that the courage of Gryffindor is only a legend." he said, a cynical smile on his face.

Hermione said nothing. She knew perfectly well that he made that comment to test her, to learn her limits so he could break her. That was what Harry had told her when she had divulged the news to him. "Don't show him your weaknesses, Hermione, ever." Certainly, Severus Snape had been cleared of all suspicion concerning his past of being a Death Eater,which had been a necessity, but his behavior remained the same. He was as antipathetic aspossible, and it was not to change.

He eventually uncrossed his legs and bent forward, as to look at her  
better.

"Take a seat."

Hermione went then to the armchair which was in front of him and sat down carefully. She put her hands on her legs and eventually spoke, having made sure that he didn't plan to speak too.

"It is an honor to be able to study by your side, and I ho..."

"None of that with me, Miss Granger. Your position in this armchair shows me exactly to what extent my closeness bothers you." he said, a smirk taking shape on his face. "Am I wrong?"

The young woman felt her heart beating more harder in her breast. He was so close, and she meet his dark look, empty of any expression. She eventually chose to be honest, even if sheregretted it as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

"You're right." she murmured. "If I had been able to make this decision, I would certainly have chosen another Master of Potions for my apprenticeship. But I think that I'm capable of putting my... antipathy towards you aside for a year if it results in an exemplary knowledge of the subject at the end of our... collaboration."

Severus Snape didn't answer at once, opting to stare at her instead. The tension was tangible between them, and he didn't know the reason of it. He knew her, and she also knew him, her words proof of that. He eventually moved back, squaring his shoulders in thearmchair in which he sat. He noticed that the young woman seemed relieved by this action and his eternal grin appeared once again.

"I see that you haven't changed, you seem to continue to deserve your nickname of Miss Know-It-All. However, do not mistake me. While my colleagues choose their assistants freely- I like calling them so because it is what you shall be doing, assisting me, the Ministry chose to bind us for a reason. Which I ignore. I expect you not exploit anything regarding Potions, I know perfectly well that you are incapable of it." he said distainfully.

"But I anticipate discipline and hard work from you... Am I clear, Miss Granger?"

"And punctuality?"

Severus Snape squinted, probing her with his eyes. Hermione blamed herselffor her arrogance, but wondered what would be his answer.

"Punctuality too... Miss." he murmured.

For reasons which she ignored, his voice had an affect on her. She swallowed hard, and waited for him to start speaking again. Finally, Severus got up and in a whirling of cape, strode to a door situated in a neighboring corridor. He was gripping the handle when he turned towards her. Hermione understood that she had to follow him, and got up quickly, her bag hitting the ground. She quickly bent down and collected it shamefully, before following him into his laboratory.

This would be the place where they were going to work together, and more...


	2. II - First confrontations

Again, thanks to Maria Ana for her amazing work with this story!

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**II. First confrontations**

"No man is free who cannot control himself"

- **Pythagoras**

Dark. Everything was dark around her. Furniture, pots, even the walls were black... Hermione wondered if she would be able to live in such an environment for a year. As her gaze went around the room, spacious enough for them to work together without being too close, Severus watched her, trying to gauge her reaction. He noted that she had changed since heryears at Hogwarts. Her features were finer, and she had more curves than before. Her hair, meanwhile, was slightly more tame, but not perfect. Yes, everything about her had improved, but there were still faults.

His eyes went back to her face, and when she met his gaze Severus felt like a teenager again. He quickly regained his thoughts and began to speak.

"We are going to work here this year. I will teach you the art of Potions,the real art, not the sham that they teach you in books." he said in a silky voice, his hand absently stroking a cauldron. "As I have said earlier, I do not expect you to achieve great things, but I'd be pleasantly surprised if it happens. Our first week will be dedicated to simplepotions, but which nevertheless require some skill. This will be a sortof... probation."

Hermione nodded.

"I guess that if I fail, I will be..."

"Fired." Severus finished. "Therefore, you will not get your degree I 'm afraid, Miss. It goes without saying that I expect from you more than the other Masters expect from their assistants. Think of it as... a compliment" he said, a smirk twisting his lips.

The young woman was torn between terror and contentment. Of course, Severus Snape was still imposing and she was really uncomfortable with him around. But she was also happy to see that he was confident enough, despite his statements, to let her work at his side. She set her bag in a dark corner of the room, and turned to her Master.

"I guess that we start today, right?"

Severus just crossed his arms across his chest, and turned his head towards a book which sat on a table to his left, surrounded by multiple vials. Hermione walked over to the book, and took it in her hands. _'Advanced Potions-Making_.' She barely suppressed a slight smile on her face, which unfortunately did not escape Snape.

"May I ask what is so funny to you, Miss?" He hissed.

Hermione shook her head and quickly opened the book, turning the pages without even realizing it. Severus approached her, close enough to read over her shoulder, and the girl shuddered. The proximity of her former teacher was still painful, and she was tempted todrop everything and return to her parents. She was not made to work alongside someone like Severus Snape. Despite being 20 years old, she felt like a little girl next to him. When her eyes fell on the recipe of a potion she vaguely knew, her Master's hand rested on her own to keep her from turning the page.

"The Brain Elixir... We are going to do this today." he said, not noticing the embarrassment of the young woman.

"Excuse me, but... I highly believe in the ineffectiveness of this potion, Master."

She turned to Severus to address him, and the look he gave her rooted herto the spot. Once again, she regretted her words.

"Did I ask for your opinion, Miss Granger? I know your tendency tochallenge authority, just like your dear friend Harry Potter, but you haveto know that between these walls you are not allowed to give your opinion. Am I clear?"

Hermione nodded quickly, and turned her attention back to the book she held inher hands. Severus remained in front of her for several minutes, watching her, visibly pleased by the reaction of the young woman. He eventually walked away, pointing to a table where there were multiple vials. Hermione took advantage of this brief respite to breathe deeply. The day promised to be more difficult than expected.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

"Come."

She was getting used to the way he worked. She sat back for most of the preparation of the concoction, and participated only when told to do so. She had a lot of trouble to getting used to this rhythm in the beginning but three hours later into it she managed somehow.

Hermione walked over to the small cauldron, observing the silver potion. Severus gently turned a ladle inside the cauldron, and Hermione noticed at once that he didn't use his wand.

"I prefer to manually control the speed of the ladle, this is essential for these types of potions." he murmured, answering her unspoken question.

He threw a pinch of lacewig flies into the cauldron, and continued to turn his ladle.

"Why did you seem to think that the brain elixir is not an effective potion, Miss?"

His voice was neutral, almost sweet to her ears. Hermione watched him

quietly but did not deflect her full attention from the cauldron.

"I... I always thought that it was a stupid potion, just sold to students who were not sure about themselves. I guess that I was wrong."

Severus shook his head and briefly turned his attention from the potion to meet her eyes.

"No, you were right." he began, turning back to the elixir. "Of course, potions sold by charlatans to collect money from weak minds are not true brain elixirs, I'm afraid. You see, the recipe for the elixir that you found in this book is not fully complete. An essential ingredient for making such a potion is missing. I just used it."

Hermione then remembered having seen him use lacewig flies, an ingredient she knew particularly well.

"Lacewig flies." she whispered.

"Right, lacewig flies. You seem to know this ingredient, Miss."

Hermione blushed heavily, thinking about the Polyjuice Potion she had crafted when she was in 2nd year. Now, eight years later, she watched Severus Snape cautiously fill two vials of brain elixir before turning back to her, a slight smile on his face.

"Yes, I know it."

"It is also used in making Polyjuice Potion, isn't it?"

The young woman nodded but did not look away. She was not ashamed of what she had done that day, even if it had proved to be a disaster from her point of view. Nonetheless, Harry and Ron were able to get some information, important enough to understand a little more of the events that were taking place at Hogwarts at the time. Hermione smiled before answering.

"Indeed , Master Snape, lacewig flies are essential in Polyjuice Potion. It also seems to me that your cupboards were full of it during my second year." she replied boldly, without dropping her smile.

She saw Severus Snape's jaw clench, and he approached her with a threatening look. She did not flinch.

"I would deduct more than a hundred points to your House if I could, Miss." he whispered in her ear.

"Unfortunately, I think it is impossible to do so now, Professor."

Hermione didn't recognize herself. Certainly, she had never enjoyed taunting Snape,but she had never had the courage to stand up to him in such a way at the time. And now she was playing his game and she liked it. She pulled back slightly, enough to observe the expression of anger which took possession of his face. He seemed to expect her to look down, but Hermione didn't have any intention of doing so. She just stared at him, and when he realized that he was losing his own game, in a fit of rage he swept all the things that were on the table next to him onto the floor. Dozens of vials, fortunately empty, smashed, while ingredients in boxes half-closed spilled everywhere.

Hermione jumped violently and put a hand to her chest. Severus paid no attention to the mess that at his feet and walked to the door.

"It must be clean before I come back, Miss. And absolutely_ no magic shall be used_." he added treacherously.

The door closed loudly behind him and Hermione found herself alone in the devastated laboratory. Their collaboration was going to be lovely...

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

Severus Snape slammed the door to his office in his wake. Why did he accept Miss know-It-All as his apprentice? He didn't know that for his first year a Master who agreed to take someone under his wing couldn't choose their assistants. He was forced to accept Hermione and spend a year with her, who said he had to be happy about it?

Severus slumped in the chair in his office and began to massage his temples. He had lost control a few minutes earlier, and he knew that situation couldn't happen again. He did not want her to suspect something.

Because if Severus Snape had agreed to be next to her for a year, it was for a reason. It was something that he was thinking about since the day he came back and he would finally be able to achieve it thanks to the young woman who was, at the moment, struggling to clean the mess he had made in laboratory. He put his head in his hands and tried to calm down, trying to decide how to show her this facet of his personality did not play in his favor. He did not like to admit it, but...

**He needed her.**


	3. III - Against the wall

**Author's note** : You certainly noticed it: my chapters are shorter than usual (compared to **Memories of You**). It simply turns out that writing two long fanfictions at the same time is rather difficult, and that I consider The Assistant as a small guilty pleasure. I shall try however - and at the moment I do it quite well - to post a chapter every day (or every two days).

What do you think of this rhythm? Do you prefer a chapter a day or a long chapter every week? Tell me everything. :) 

Moreover, the 3 first chapters aren't beta yet, but they will be thanks to the amazing Ana Maria! :D

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**III. Against the wall**

"Arrogance hides many things. It hides what is essential"

- **Jacques Dutronc**

_One week later_

The weather was beginning to cool down at this time of the year. London was waking up from its summertime sadness, and was entering in autumn. It was 9 o'clock, and Hermione, as usual, was preparing everything for her day of work with Severus Snape. He had given her a spare key and she was able to come in the monday morning to prepare the cauldrons and the phials. The young woman didn't take offence of it, knowing that it was part of her Master's teaching, as unorthodox as it was.

To her great surprise, Severus Snape banned the use of magic in his laboratory. Hermione had originally thought that the ban had only been decreed to make her life difficult, but Severus himself didn't use magic in this room. The young woman didn't dare ask him the reason for this prohibition that yet intrigued her at the highest point.

After checking that the three cauldrons that were next to her were clean, she cast a quick glance at her watch. Severus was a little late. Three days earlier, they had begun some researches on a new potion he was working on since August, and they both had came to the conclusion that only a practical test could attest the success of the potion. He therefore ordered her to read during the weekend a series of parchments on which he had scrawled incomprehensible annotations, and it is with a terrible headache that Hermione woke up that morning. She could not understand half of the recipe, and she feared above all Severus' reaction.

Everyday, when she woke up, she had to pass in front of Severu's bedroom, and she always heard the soft snore of the latter through the door. Sleeping just a few steps away from her former teacher was difficult the first night, but she got used to it. He always left her with a "Good evening, Miss", and she was surprised to find the way he talked to her... Charming. Hermione blushed violently, and her confusion grew even mor when the laboratory door opened, revealing Severus Snape, wrapped in his black cloak.

"Good morning, Miss", he said to her as his gaze went around the room.

"Good morning, Master."

She knew that he was looking for any failure from her, and she was pleased to see him turn his attention to her, visibly annoyed to see that she had forgotten nothing.

"Have you studied the parchments that I gave you last Friday?" he asked, rearranging the phials which were on a table.

"Yes, Master. I have carefully studied them, but I must admit that..."

The piercing look he gave her interrupted her, and she gathered all her courage to finish her sentence.

"I must admit that some things are hard to understand."

Severus turned completely towards her, and leaned casually against the table that was now behind him, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Really, Miss Granger? Yet, I thought that notes as simple as that would have been a formality for a mind as brilliant as yours..." he said in a silky voice.

A silence fell between them, while they were staring at each other. He always expected her to yield first, but Hermione never did. However, she was the first to speak again.

"I was hoping that a mind as brilliant as yours would enlighten me about the things that are unclear to me."

The tone she had taken was ostensibly impertinent, and Severus slowly unfolded his arms before taking support on the table.

"Did we not already talk about this impertinent tone that is totally forbidden to use between these walls, Miss?"

"I don't think so, Master."

It was too much. With a quick movement, Severus walked over her and squeezed her wrist in his right hand, forcing her to retreat while he was still advancing towards her. Hermione quickly felt her back hit the pavement wall and closed her eyes in pain. When she opened them, she met the icy stare that Severus darted over her, and felt his breath on her face. She was surprise to smell mint.

"_Never_ dare to speak to me like this. Am I clear?" he whispered, a few inches from his face.

Hermione noticed that Severus' gaze drifted to her lips, and she instinctively passed her tongue on her lower lip. Severus' gaze was still fixed on that part of her face, and he slightly eased the pressure on her wrist. He recovered quickly, however, and turned his attention to the young woman.

"Am I clear?" he repeated, his voice hoarse.

Hermione nodded slowly, and he let her go before returning to the phials. She began to massage her left wrist, and looked back at Severus. This man had not changed.

**XxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxxX**

""Add a pinch of crushed Moly""

After reading this words, Hermione opened a small jar and handed it to Severus. He took a pinch of Moly, threw it in the cauldron, and continued to gently turn his ladle. Hermione continued reading the recipe, and they worked like that until late in the evening, the silence between them just broke when the young woman was reading the recipe.

It was almost 10 o'clock when the potion took a bluish color and Severus rose from his stool. Hermione quickly read the end of the parchment she held in her hands, and gave him a radiant smile. .

""The potion turns blue when it is finished "... I guess that you have succeeded then?"

"_We_ succeeded, Miss" he said before massaging his temples, tired by the long day of work.

Hermione also fell sleepy, but she managed to take three vials and give them to Severus who filled them. During this long day of work with him, Hermione had felt a connection between them, and she could not help but notice the sensuality that emanated from this man when he was practicing his art. He was good, definitely talented, and one would almost say that he was caressed the utensils and ingredients to make the best of them.

Hermione realized that she was staring at him when she no longer perceived movement from him. She went out of her torpor, and saw that he was also watching her with an indefinable glow in his eyes. She quickly looked away. She was about to leave the laboratory without a word, as she usually did when she was feeling that her help was no longer needed, when a voice raised behind her.

"Are you planning to eat tonight?"

Hermione froze before turning slowly. Severus was stoic and she didn't distinguish irony on his face.

"I... I thought of bringing a sandwich in my room, as I usually do."

"What do you think about having dinner with me?"

She did not answer right away, and Severus seemed to think that her silence meant that she did not want to. He turned his back before talking.

"Very well" he said, still not looking at her. "In this case, good evening, Miss."

"No, I... I'd like to have dinner with you, Master" she whispered, surprised herself by her own words.

Severus looked at her, visibly surprised, and finally nodding.

"Wait for me in the living room then, I'll be here in a minute."

Hermione turned around and left the laboratory. Closing the door behind her, she leaned against the it, and ran a weary hand over her face. Had she just accepted to eat with Severus Snape? She sighed and walked to the living room. This promised to be an interesting evening.


	4. IV - A revealing dinner

**IV. A revealing dinner**

"One should always be drunk. That's all that matters...But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk."

- **Charles Baudelaire**

* * *

Severus was cleaning the utensils he had used, although he knew that the young woman who was behind the door was going to do it again the next morning. Why did he ask her to eat with him tonight? What are they going to tell to each other? It was one thing to share a dinner with this little minx, it was another to achieve to have a discussion with her.

He had to admit that he had been troubled by her sudden proximity this morning. Having his face inches from hers had given him ideas he didn't want to have in mind, and he could only blame his long period of abstinence. At Hogwarts, he often had the opportunity to spend nights in Hogsmeade's bars, where he used to drown his solitude in glasses of Fire Whisky before getting lost in of some prostitutes' arms, always available for who knew where to find them.

But it had been a year since he had set a foot in these disreputable places that even the most curious students did not know about.

Even if she was unpleasant to him, Hermione Granger remained no less a woman. He would not have gone as far as saying she was attractive in his eyes, because it wasn't true. He had always preferred the company of tall and thin women, and Hermione Granger was far from fulfilling these criterias, really far from it.

Severus finally cleaned the cauldron, removing any trace of potion before rinsing his hands in the sink. Twenty minutes had already passed since the departure of the young woman, and he was sure that she was bored to death.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

For the umpteenth time that evening, Hermione picked up a book in the bookcase which was near the chair where she had cut off, flipped a few pages before put it down and take another. She cast a glance at the clock, and thought for a second to return to her room. Severus Snape had told her he would not be long, and yet... He was already a little over 10 o'clock and she was starving. While this idea was taking shape in her mind, the laboratory door opened and Severus Snape walked over her. Will he apologize?

"If you want to follow me" he merely said, before turning on his heels.

Hermione hastily drew up the book she had just taken from the bookcase and got up to follow him. The house was not huge, but she had not yet been in the dining room, let alone in the kitchen. She knew that politeness wanted that Severus showed her the house, knowing that she was going to live here for a year, but he had never shown the intention to do it, and she had not dared to ask him.

As she entered the dining room, oddly brighter than the living room, Hermione distinguished a form rushing to an adjacent door. An elf?

"Do you use house elves?" she asked.

Severus raised an eyebrow before answering.

"I'm a wizard, Miss. Artie works for the Snape house for decades now. So don't you dare tell me about your principles regarding the cause of house elves."

Hermione remained silent, and merely sat on the chair he had just drawn to her attention. He walked to the other end of the table to face her, and sat down. A second later, Artie returned to the dining room, carrying dishes that seemed heavier than her. Hermione did violence to not get up and help, and it was the icy stare of her Master that dissuaded her to do it. She certainly did not have the right to say anything in this house. However, she thanked the elf with a smile as she slipped away without a word. In front of here was now an appetizing dish consisting of cooked noodles and vegetables. Severus had already started eating, and she did the same.

For long minutes, they didn't talk, and Hermione finally broke the silence.

"I'm trying to remember what was written on the parchments that you gave me, but I can not remember something fundamental about the potion"she began, gently placing her fork on her plate. "What is it for?"

A slight grin formed on Severus's face, and he quickly wiped his mouth.

"I'm surprised that you have not asked this question earlier, Miss. How would you react if I told you that the potion that we worked so hard on is actually a lethal poison, and that only one drop is sufficient to take the life of anyone?"

Hermione shuddered, and she read some amusement in the eyes of the man who was seated in front of her.

"I do not believe a word of what you say" she finally said, trying to take a confident tone.

"But you've taken time to come to this conclusion, Miss. Of course, this is not the purpose of this potion, I'd made sure to warn you of its dangers if this was the case. This potion is a simple dreams simulator."

Hermione sat up on her seat, suddenly interested by the conversation.

"A dreams simulator? You mean that the one who takes the potion will make dreams created from scratch instead of its... Own dreams?"

"This is not exactly the purpose of this potion, even if it may be a consequence of this potion on some minds. You see, some... People no longer have the ability to dream. They just empty their minds when it comes to bedtime. Sleep is composed of two parts, as you already know. REM sleep, the period when you are supposed to dream is essential to refresh your brain, and in fact develop your memory skills for example. A mind that is not able to go to REM sleep is not at full capacity."

"And that what makes this potion so valuable" Hermione ended.

Severus nodded.

"Actually, yes. The main purpose is not to replace dreams by other dreams, but to restore the ability to dream."

"I can see the value of such a potion, Master, but what are you going to do with it? Sell it?"

"Certainly not" Severus replied abruptly. "This potion has no commercial purpose. Rather, it is dedicated to personal use."

Severus Snape was he one of those people unable to dream ? Hermione weighed the pros and cons: should she ask him what he meant? Severus finally decided for her.

"It seems that a question is burning your lips, Miss Granger" he murmured. "And I will answer: yes, it is difficult for me to switch to REM sleep."

"But I thought snoring occurred only during REM sleep" Hermione noted.

Severus stared at her for a few seconds, surprised by her repartee.

"So explain that to my brain when you get a chance" he concluded before returning to eat.

Hermione realized that the discussion on this topic was over, and finished her meal in silence. Severus had conjured wine at table, and she found herself soaking her lips on the sweet nectar. She did not usually drink alcohol, except a pint of Butterbeer from time to time when she went to Hogsmeade with Harry and Ron, and she felt a little euphoric after finishing her drink. Severus watched her sip the last drop of wine, and did the same, his eyes still fixed on her. With a flick of his wand, he lifted the bottle of wine, and filled their glasses for second time of the evening. Hermione had a movement of the hand, as if to say she did not want to drink anymore, but Severus did not stop, and she found herself with a second glass of wine in hand.

Suddenly feeling reckless, Hermione turned her attention to Severus who was stroking his fingertips on his glass of wine.

"How did you manage to survive, Severus?"

He twitched when the young woman said his name, but he didn't hold it against her.

"Excuse me?"

"You were almost dead when we left you. I do not understand how you survive to such an attack of Nagini..."

Severus did not answer, and merely finish his glass of wine before leaving the table. Hermione put down her halft empty glass on the table and stood up as well, following him as he was taking the stairs. She was only half surprised by his reaction. Indeed, in her heart, she knew that he had no intention of answering. She was very relieved to see that he had just declined to answer, and he had not made a disparaging remark.

She followed him as he climbed the stairs, and Hermione had to stick to the ramp, suddenly feeling shaky. Her head was spinning, and when she put her right foot on the last step, her left foot hit the hardwood stairs and she found herself on the ground, moaning in pain. Severus whirled at the sound caused by her fall, and rushed over her.

"Where are you hurting?" he asked.

"My left ankle...", she whispered.

Instead of help her up as he was planning to, he made her sit down, resting her back against the cold wall of the corridor. He crouched in front of her grumbling, visibly irritated by having to take care of her. However, he carefully removed her left ballerina and he fingered an expert hand on her ankle. Hermione slightly grimaced when he pressed on the sore spot, but let none other moan of pain.

Severus gave her a look to see if she was suffering more than she should have, and was visibly pleased by what he saw.

"You're just sprained your ankle. It would be good to watch where you put your feet next time" he whispered, raising and holding out his hand to her.

Hermione took his hand in hers and tried to rely on his right leg as he raised her. To her great surpris, Severus accompanied her to her bed, and he took the opportunity to take a look at the new decoration of the room. A huge embroidered Gryffindor badge was now placing at the head of the bed, and the desk he had picked up in the room so she could study alone was now filled with picture frames, where he could see a couple who seemed to be her parents, and of course the famous Ron Weasley and Harry Potter.

"I see that you've made yourself comfortable, Miss."

The young woman blushed as she sat on her bed, letting Severus's hand at the same time.

"I'm going to live for a year between these walls, so I thought..."

"You have done well" he interrupted her .

Hermione watched him as he walked towards the door of his room.

"Thanks for ... What you did tonight, Master" she managed to say as he was about to disappear from her vision.

Severus was not sure why she thanked him. For dinner they had shared for the first time since her arrival at home or for being escorted to her room ? He nevertheless turned to the young woman and nodded.

"_Sweet Dreams_, Miss" he merely said before disappearing into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

Hermione then dropped on the back before getting up a few minutes later to remove her clothing, taking care not to hurt her ankle by removing her pants. She did not have the courage to stand up to get a nightgown, so she slipped into underwear under the sheets, gently closing her eyes. Little did she imagine where her dreams were going to carry her that night...

* * *

Mmmmh, what will she dream about? :D You'll know that tomorrow! In the meantime, don't forget to drop me line, it's always nice to see that you like this story. :)


	5. V - When we dream

**Author's note** : This chapter is... Well, M for a reason. ;)

* * *

**V. When we dream... **

"The difficulty, it is not to dream, but to accept and to understand the dreams of the others"

- **Zhang Xianliang**

* * *

It was almost five o'clock in the morning when Hermione heard the door of her room creak slightly. She forced herself to open her eyes, trying to get used to the darkness that surrounded her. A draft penetrated into the room, and she pressed the sheet harder against her chest. Her heart beat faster as she heard slow steps close to her bed.

"Who's there?" she heard herself ask in a trembling voice.

No answer. The footsteps were closer now, and the eyes of the young woman went to her bedside table, looking for a blunt object in order to protect herself from the threat coming towards her. In the dark, she saw the heavy alarm clock she had brought from her parents a week earlier, and held out her hand to the right in order to catch it. When she put her hand on the object, the human form get rid of the sheet before throwing on her, bringing her hand to her head. Hermione gasped, trying somehow to get rid of this weight that was crushing her, unable to scream because of the hand that rested on her mouth. She finally slightly calmed down when she realized that it was impossible to move, still looking for a loophole. Then she locked eyes with her attacker. Severus Snape.

He had a slight smile on his face, obviously delighted by the reaction of the young woman who had stopped moving when she recognized him. Hermione smiled back at him when he deigned to remove the hand covering her mouth.

"I did not expect to see you here, Master." she said in a lustful voice while waving her hips to feel him against her.

"Do not be so impatient, Miss...", he whispered in her ear.

Severus leaned towards her and began to devour her neck, alternating passionate kisses and soft bites. Hermione threw her head back, mouth open, pressing Severus' head against her. The latter ran a greedy hand along her body down to her panties that he took off with a quick movement. Hermione stifled a cry of surprise, and watched her former teacher down along her belly, leaving behind him a hundred of kisses. She arched back when she felt his mouth gently placed on the most intimate area of her body and let out a sigh of satisfaction.

She was dreaming of this moment since the morning, and to feel his tongue on her clitoris was pure ecstasy. Instinctively, she buried her hands in Severus' hair, and was surprised to find them silky. She quickly drove this idea of her mind, focused on the sheer joy that the man who was between her thighs was giving her. He firmly grabbed her hips to prevent her to seek her own pleasure against his mouth. Hermione moaned in frustration, but it disappeared when he slid one of his hands between her thighs. She felt a foreign object penetrating her, and she waved her hips against the fingers that had just slipped into her.

Moonlight eventually illuminated the room, and Hermione could see Severus' gaze planted in hers. This sudden eye contact excited her, and she was still watching him when she heard a distant sound. Hermione frowned and turned her head to the right, where the noise seemed to come from. However, she saw nothing. She then turned her attention to Severus who had accelerated his fingers' pace, but the noise was louder and more insistent.

"Do you hear that noise?" she asked as Severus continued to revel in her intimacy, not seeming to hear.

Hermione tried to focus on the pleasure she was feeling and to forget that nagging noise coming from her right, quickly closing her eyes and letting go against the pillows. Long minutes passed thus and finally, the noise, consisting of a succession of beeps, became unbearable. She quickly opened her eyes, exasperated, and froze. Severus... Her eyes scanned the room, while she picked up the sheet that had fallen on the ground and brought it against her naked body. Where was he? A second earlier, he was between her legs, providing her with pleasure as she had never known, and now he was gone. Hermione turned her attention to the noise that continued to annoy her, and realized that it was her alarm clock. It was already six o'clock in the morning. She suddenly moved to sit up in her bed, still reeling from the experience she had just experienced.

The young woman was lost. Had she dreamed? It seemed impossible, it seemed to be so real. She "felt" things, and the wetness between her legs was a proof. And yet... She was alone in her room, the door was closed and she did not scent Severus' smell between the sheets.

_What had just happened?_

**XxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

Severus woke up around six in the morning, a slight smile on his face. He had heard the alarm sound on the other side of the wall, waking him up from his... Very pleasant dream. He had not thought that the potion would do this, far from it. He just wanted to share his dreams with her, so that she would understand... He wanted her to see how he was saved a year earlier, he wanted her to realize that he needed her to achieve his plan. Severus did not want to impose such a difficult thing to her, she had come to him.

This wasn't the dream he had for months who was in his mind that night. To his surprise, he had a completely different dream, yet revealing the day he had spent with Hermione. It would be a lie to say that he felt nothing towards her. He desired her, nothing more, but it was still something. While he was dreaming, he had transmitted her his thoughts, and now she had to wonder what had happened.

Rising from his bed to take a shower in his own bathroom, he began to think about Hermione and the day that awaited them. How would she react? He also wondered if she suspected something. He didn't think that the young woman had noticed that he had shed a few drops of the potion in the bottle of wine in order to share this experience with her. She was too busy to look at Artie when he did it. She would surely thing that it was just a crazy dream, and it was just fine like that.

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Good morning, Master."

Hermione's voice had reached him in a whisper, and Severus nodded as he entered his laboratory.

"Is your ankle alright?"

"I feel some pain from time to time, but nothing unbearable."

He did not answer, and merely drop a bundle of parchments on the table. Hermione cleared her throat before speaking again.

"What potion will we prepare today, Master?"

"We 're not going to prepare anything today, Miss. As you probably know, I publish articles talking about potions' since January. I have no doubt that you have already read some of my articles for your exams. I am currently working on a new section devoted to sacred potions, and I was counting on you to help me in my research. Obviously, your name will be mentioned when the article will be published."

"It would be a pleasure, sir.", she said.

"Follow me then."

He quickly took the parchments he had laid upon the table, and went to a bookcase that intrigued Hermione since she had entered the room. Indeed, it was huge and empty, which was odd when she thought of the other bookcases that were in the house, bursting at the seams under the weight of books they contained. With a flick of wand, Severus slid the library to the right, thus revealing another room. Startled, Hermione followed him as he entered a spacious office.

"This is where you work?" She dared ask him.

"That is correct. I have however not had the opportunity since your arrival, since I needed to dedicate my time to your... Education" he muttered as he invited her to sit beside him.

The table that faced them was huge, however, the two armchairs were very close. Hermione felt a sudden discomfort being so close to Severus, thinking unwittingly about this dream she had had a few hours earlier. She felt her cheeks becoming red, and it did not help her when Severus's hand rested next to hers while he slipped a few recipes she should annotate. She thanked him with a smile, and turned her attention to the documents.

An hour passed, then two, and the young woman had managed to totally immerse herself in the work she had to provide. She got up from time to time to take a book on the bookcase, and returned to sit without looking at Severus. The latter sometimes watched her, quite impressed by her very professional reaction. He knew that she was very embarrassed after the dream she had, but she did not show it.

Around noon, Severus conjured food for two, not wanting to waste time in their researches. He was supposed to publish this article the next day, and even though he knew he would not be on time, he wanted to avoid making it too late. They had lunch in silence, and spent the afternoon as well.

Around 5 o'clock, Hermione stretched gently before giving the parchments on which she worked since the morning to Severus.

"I believe that the necessary informations have been found and noted. I am however not sure about the side effects of some of these sacred potions, as the olfactory regeneration potion. I also wonder why such a potion sits alongside potions such as Armantine or potion of power, much more powerful..."

"Power has nothing to do with the sacred, Miss. I'm surprised that you don't know that."

"Yes, but..."

Severus put a finger on her mouth as if to silence her , and Hermione remained silent. Their eyes met, and what the young woman read in the eyes of his Master intrigued her Was it _desire_? He quickly took off his finger and turned his attention to the parchments that he reorganized before getting up.

"Nice work, Miss Granger, you can go now."

He suddenly left the room, taking care to not touch the bookcase to let her leave. Hermione did not get up right away, still in shock at what had happened. She ran her fingers over her lips as if to remember this moment, and made the connection with the so-called dream she had had.

_What if that really happened?_

* * *

Chapter 5 : Done! Again, thanks for your kind words, that really helps me to write more and more about Severus and Hermione! Soon, you'll know what happened to Severus, and why he needs her so bad.

Free hug for everybody! :)


	6. VI - When she dreams

**Author's note** : smut again... Don't get too used to it. :D (oh, well, you can afterall...)

Here you gooo, chapter 6!

Thanks to everybody who send me kind words, to the 56 (already!) **amazing followers** and the 16 people who favorited this story! It makes me so happy to see that you like this story. :D

Don't expect love at first sight with this fic, but love will come eventually, don't worry about that.

Enjoy!

* * *

**VI. When she dreams...**

"Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?"

- **The Matrix**

* * *

Hermione finally left the room, taking the liberty to borrow a book from Severus' bookcase. She bumped into him in the living room, quietly seated in what seemed to be his favorite chair, a glass of whiskey in hand. She pointed to the book she was holding under her arm.

"I allowed myself to borrow this book..."

"As you please" he replied quickly, inviting her to sit in the chair in front of him.

Although she was reluctant, the young woman eventually lead to the chair he was pointing and sat down.

"What book is it?"

"_The art of Potions seen by Witches of the twentieth century._", she said.

"A feminist pamphlet of very bad taste, I'm afraid..."

"I went quickly through it, and on the contrary, I think that this book allows you to see the art of Potions from a new angle, rarely seen by the most brilliant Masters, who are generally men."

"And do you think that the masculinity of this domain is harmful?"

"I'm not saying that..." she slowly began, looking for the right words. "I just think women have a different approach from the subject, a different sensitivity that allows them to release the shackles established by men over the centuries. Thus, it allows us to explore new things."

"Innovation is not something that Masters really like, Miss..."

"So why did you create this dreams simulator?" she interrupted him.

Severus did not answer immediately, taking time to stare at her as he usually did.

"My methods are probably different from those of the other Masters. This is not because the whole profession is afraid of innovation that I also fear it" he finally replied, before taking a sip of the amber liquid.

Hermione nodded, fascinated by the character in front of her. She had feared him for years, and now she was having an interesting discussion with Severus Snape. She listened him as he was still talking.

"I used to think – and still think – that the art of Potions can not remain static. New needs are created every day, and we need to adapt ourselves. Take the example of sacred potions. They seem to be essential today, but did you know that they were created in the 1920s?" he asked, suddenly talkative. "Unfortunately, research on Potions knows a halt since the 1970s."

"And are you trying to fix it?" she asked with a smile.

"I don't know if such a task is possible to be done by one man." he said, frowning. "But I try to make my contribution, and the articles I publish are a step towards the research's revival."

Hermione nodded, fascinated by his words. She rarely had the opportunity to chat with someone as competent as him. Her teachers were brilliant in their field, but despite her thirst for knowledge, she has never been able to become so close to them and to share moments like this in their company. She would never have thought it would be with Severus Snape that it would happen for the first time, and yet she was delighted.

His eyes were still fixed on her, and she was surprised to recognize the look that he had last night in this... _Dream_. Images then arose in her mind, and Hermione blushed, thinking of the head of her Master between her legs, revelling in her privacy. An intense heat took possession of her belly, and she tried to find an appropriate position on the chair, looking away from the man in front of her. She quickly crossed her legs, not paying attention to the smile that was on Severus' face.

"Is there something wrong, Miss Granger?" He murmured, his voice as soft as velvet.

Hearing his voice reminded her memories, and she quickly closed her eyes to recover. When she opened them, Severus Snape's smile was gone, replaced with an unreadable expression.

"Everything's fine", she replied in a whisper.

"Are you sure?..."

Everything's fine, Master" she gently interrupted him. "I'll just... Go get some rest. I did not sleep very well last night..."

She quickly rose from her armchair, while Severus's voice accompanied her down the stairs.

"I hope that you didn't have some nightmares..."

Hermione felt a funny tone in his voice and froze, her hand resting on the railing of the stairs. She slowly turned to face him, but he had already turned his attention to his glass of whiskey.

She tried to control the trembling that invaded her, but that was difficult. She suddenly realized that the dream she had last night certainly had a link with the dreams simulator they had done together. Was it possible that...

While she wondered if she had to talk to Severus about it, the latter emptied his glass of whiskey and rose from his chair, dominating the room to his full height. He gave her a piercing glance before heading to his laboratory.

"Good evening, Miss."

A second later, she was alone. Everything began to take shape in her mind. The potion, her dream... The wine! Hermione ran a weary hand over her face, and began to climb the stairs. How this potion may have acted so much on her subconscious? Severus had told her that the main purpose of this potion was to restore the ability to dream of a person... As she passed the doorstep of her room, she remembered a small detail that she had almost forgotten. "_You mean that the one who takes the potion will make dreams created from scratch instead of his... Own dreams?_" . Then she remembered that he had positively answered to the question, and it disrupted her a little more as she sat on her bed.

How could she make a dream that was not hers in the end? To do such a thing, it was necessary that a different entity, whether a different subconscious planted the dream in her mind... Unless this was the potion itself that had this ability... Hermione felt her brain buzzing, and it was difficult to focus on a specific point of the experience she had made before. Thousand of questions raced through her head: she wondered if Severus had simply used her as a guinea pig to test his potion. She also wondered whether the effects of the potion were only a night or if she would have to undergo these dreams for a long time.

Hermione then fell on her back and took a pillow in her arms. She was dying to get in the lab and to ask these questions to her Master, but at the same time... This Legimens could enter at any time in her mind and reveal her dream. She sighted, pressing the pillow against her chest and finally curl up on her bed, exhausted by a long day of research. After a few minutes, she finally let go, and fell asleep...

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

"Mmmh..."

Eyes closed, Hermione turned around in her bed, trying to escape the hand that was gently stroking her hip since several minutes. Certainly, she thought it was nice, but she was so tired... The caresses became more insistent, and another hand came to rest on her shoulder, forcing her to lie on her back. Eyes still closed, Hermione sighed while soft lips came to rest on hers. Instinctively, she opened her lips and felt the tongue of her attacker playing with hers with sensuality. As she felt the man's body come into contact with her own body, she suddenly realized that she was naked. When had she undressed?

This issue quickly faded from her mind as she felt a hand between her thighs, gently stroking the sensitive point which gave her so much pleasure. She unfastened her lips to those of the one who was kissing her divinely one second earlier, and began to moan against his lips.

"Severus" she murmured, as she still couldn't make out the features of the man who was on her.

"What do you want, Miss ?"

His voice still had that devastating effect on her. It was smooth as silk, but also sharpened like the blade of a knife. She didn't grow tired of hearing his soft voice next to her ear.

"_I want you to take me, now..._" she heard herself whispering against his ear.

Hermione felt the breath of her Master accelerate when she uttered these words, and it is with haste that he undressed himself, using his wand to speed things up. A few seconds later, he sank into her up to the hilt, and she let out a cry of pleasure, instinctively opening her eyes. Their eyes met to never let go, and Severus grabbed her hips to control his penetrations. She heard him gasp softly, and she put her arms around his neck, bringing him to her. Hermione looked for his lips and felt a warmth taking possession of her crotch when his mouth met hers. She moaned while accompanying his motion, gently rubbing against him to find her own pleasure.

Her release was close, and with a cry..._ She woke up_.

Hermione suddenly sat up in her bed, breathless and always dressed. She cast a glance out the window and saw that night had long since fallen. She bit her lips till blood in the memory of her dream that had been as realistic as the previous day. Would she have to undergo these erotic dreams for a long time?

On the lower floor, Severus froze when he heard the cry, or the groan that came from her room. Then he remembered that she had wanted to rest, and wondered if this was due to a dream she had done. However he winced at the thought. This potion was only intended to bind their dreams, not to interfere with her own moments of sleep. Maybe his potion had effects he didn't know or maybe... The young woman had just had a very personal dream which was not of his making. He smiled at the thought, and he felt a sudden excitement taking possession of a part of his anatomy. Severus then tried to breathe profoundly to regain control of himself. It was not the time, he thought, returning to his potion.


	7. VII - Saving her

**Author's note:  
**

It is quite hard to write a chapter a day, you know... Holidays are here, Christmas will be here in two days... I don't have a lot of time currently, unfortunately. I'm still working on **Memories of you** too, which is my main work for now. But I'll give you one chapter of **The Assistant** before the end of next week, you have my word!

**THANKS** for all your kind words, this means a lot to me. This chapter is about revelations, and I hope that you'll like it. It's really important for the upcoming chapters, and the relation between Severus and Hermione.

Merry Christmas to you!

* * *

**VIII - Saving her **

"It is not more surprising to be born twice than once; everything in nature is resurrection"

-** Voltaire**

* * *

Hermione slowly rubbed her eyes, trying to get used to the dim light that came to her from afar. She leaned on a tree that was on her right, and began to move toward the light that seemed to call her. It was hard to guess where she was exactly, but she was sure to be in a forest. The thick cloud of branches and leaves that she had discovered a second earlier when she looked up to heaven was a proof enough. She had walked for several minutes before seeing the light that seemed to approach more and more. Since then, she kept it as a benchmark in order to not get lost.

Suddenly, she heard a sound of footsteps, and the young woman suddenly stopped, taking refuge behind a tree. The noise disappeared as quickly as she had heard it, and Hermione continued her walking. It wasn't long. A few minutes later, she found herself in front of a clearing, a wand at her feet: someone had casted a Lumos spell. She gently took it between her fingers, looking for any clue as to who was the master of the wand, and she ended by pointing it to the ground to illuminate the forest around her.

Suddenly a groan emanated from her right, and Hermione turned quickly, her hand slightly trembling. Nevertheless, she had the courage to move slowly towards the source of noise which was louder and louder, and finally saw the contours of a human form lying on the ground, in agony. Without even thinking, she dropped the wand and ran to meet him, kneeling a few inches from his face. She turned him on his back, and was finally able to see his face. Severus Snape.

Hermione stifled a cry of surprise and horror, trying to stop the blood that was flowing too quickly at his neck, pressing on, not knowing what else to do. Severus's eyes were open, and his eyes met hers for a second before he sank into unconsciousness.

"No, no, no..." Hermione whispered while positioning the head of her Master on her knees, trying to stem the flow of blood as best as she could with the cloak of the latter.

Hermione tried in vain to remember an effective spell against this type of injury, but all was mixed up in her mind, and she was unable to mobilize her knowledge for the first time in her life . A tear trickled down her cheek, a sign of helplessness, while she was squeezing even more strongly on the gaping wound that was on his neck. How such a thing could happen? She had spent the day with him to finalize the details for his forthcoming article, and she had left him a few hours earlier. She then had returned to her parents and had dinner with them before returning to her room to write to Ron and Harry. And then... Hermione frowned, while continuing to exert a pressure on Severus' jugular, no longer remembering what she did after that. As she was still thinking about that, an human form made its way between the trees, and the young woman wondered if it was a good idea to stay in an open country as she was. However, she didn't have time to ask a lot of questions to herself. When she finally remembered what she had done after writing her letters, a woman with long red hair sat beside her, gently stroking the hair of the man who had his head still resting on her knees, without looking at her. Her movements were gentle, almost full of love, and Hermione suddenly remembered. Only a fraction of a second was necessary to Hermione to understand who this person was, with this peaceful expression on her face : _Lily Potter_.

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxX**

"No!"

Hermione snapped on her bed, pushing without even noticing the sheet that was across her breast a second earlier. For long seconds, she tried to catch her breath, without success. Her door then swung open, revealing her mother who went to her bed.

"Hermione, what happens there?" she asked, shaking her hands in hers, worried.

"It's okay mom," she managed to whisper, providing a reassuring smile.

"A bad nightmare?"

"Sort of..."

**XxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

Ten miles away, Severus Snape woke up, sweaty. He had finally succeeded after several nights to instill the vision of the day he almost lost his life in her mind. Unfortunately, the conscious part of her brain had taken the baton at the crucial moment of her dream, and he wondered if she had time to see the face of the person who came to his rescue at the most critical moment.

How would she react when she would have to return to his home in two days? He would like her to ask him a lot of questions so she could understand and reach to the same conclusion as him.

This idea stroke him a few weeks after his return from the dead, there was already a little over a year ago. He had understood that a debt had formed the day he was offered a second chance, and that he had to honour this debt. Severus was the first surprised when Lily's face had appeared above him when he had opened his eyes as he had felt a frozen hand laid on his face. He had thought to be dead, but it was not yet the case. She had whispered a few words he could not remember about, keeping her angelic smile all the time, and he had failed to take his eyes off her face. Severus had detailed her beautiful face, noting that she had not taken a wrinkle unlike him, and that she was still beautiful. The green of her eyes was even more piercing than he remembered, and he had the greatest difficulty to look her go away after several minutes at his side. He simply could carry his hand to his neck and find that he wasn't bleeding anymore.

Months and months after that fateful day in the Forbidden Forest, he tried to understand what happened that day when Lily Potter, the love of his life, had saved him from the dead. No existing magic had been able to answer this question, and yet he had read hundreds of books, if not thousands. Then, he learned during a discussion he had with Harry Potter during his rehabilitation trial that he had used the Resurrection Stone, one of the Deathly Hallows just before going to face the Dark Lord, now fallen. Severus Snape knew that this stone unfortunately wasn't able to bring the loved ones from the dead, although it was his first goal. But this discovery was enough to understand the presence of Lily Potter in this forest that same day, or at least her ghost who had managed to save him. How did she save him, it was still a mystery. But she did, and Severus was thinking of one only thing since that day : _bringing Lily Potter back_.

**XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_Two days later_

Hermione knocked on the door at the stroke of eight. She had, of course, a key, but the weekend was spent in a haze that she had the greatest difficulty to get out. The dream she had had on Friday night had disturbed her more than she thought, and she couldn't get it out of her mind. The presence of Lily Potter was the mystery she could not solve, and this even happened to obscure the dream itself. She began to be accustomed of them, and was trying to understand their hidden meaning now.

As she passed an impatient hand through her hair, the door suddenly opened. Severus gave her a disdainful look that he had the secret before fading to let her enter.

"Master," she whispered to his attention as she passed the doorstep.

The latter did not gave her a "good morning", merely closed the door behind her and headed to his laboratory, counting on her to follow him. But Hermione didn't move an inch and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Master, I have to speak to you."

Severus froze and turned slowly toward her. The discussion that he was apprehending but also waiting for a long time was about to take place.


	8. VIII - Can you be more explicit?

Damn, so many things to do, so many champagne to sip and so many great things to eat these last few days... But I managed to write this chapter down, yey! :D I hope that you'll like it.

I don't think that I answered to your amazing reviews, I was really busy, but **THANKS **to all of you, Amy, Rivruskende, Hannoie. It means a lot to me, keep going, you're amazing, really! :)

Can we now go to 100 followers and 40 reviews ? Let's see!

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**VIII - "Can you be more... Explicit?"**

"Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet."

- **Andy Warhol**

* * *

"Sit down."

Following Severus' movement, Hermione sat in an armchair. She instinctively crossed her legs before putting her hands on her thighs, smoothing without even paying attention the folds of her blue dress. Her eyes were fixed on her Master who seemed... _Uncomfortable_ . He was also sitting in a chair and his eyes were lost in the void. Hermione slightly cleared her throat so that his attention went back to her, and that's what he did.

"What did you want to tell me, Miss?" he whispered, and Hermione could detect a hint of impatience in his voice.

How to start? Should she tell him about her first dreams, very intimate, or only her last dream with Lily? She ended up choosing a neutral ground : the potion.

"I wanted to talk about your dreams simulator, Master. I think that I took it against my will."

Hermione did not blink when Severus' gaze was on her. A slight smirk appeared at the corner of his lips, as he leaned casually against the armchair.

"And what allows you to make such an accusation?"

"I'm not accusing anyone, I'm just telling you the facts. You see, for several nights I have dreams that seem... Terribly real. And the beginning of these dreams coincides with the day when we concocted this potion and we dined together."

Severus did not answer immediately, and yet he wanted her to say more, to tell him about her dreams, those nights she had spent dreaming of his body against hers, dreaming of his caresses... But he also needed her to talk to him about her dream the night before, he need her to confirm that she had understood who had saved him that day. He needed her to speak.

"And what's happening in your dreams, Miss?"

His voice was a whisper, and Hermione had to strain to understand his question. She then blushed violently, explicit images overwhelmed her by returning to her in waves. Suddenly uncomfortable, she looked down before swallowing with great difficulty. Eyes downcast, she replied.

"These are not dreams... Normal dreams. Most of them have an erotic nature that was unknown to me until now."

Severus raised a sarcastic eyebrow, glad to hear her whisper these words as if they burned her mouth. This was certainly the case he thought, the young woman who was sitting in front of him surely forced herself to confess the erotic dreams that haunted her nights.

"Can you be more... Explicit?"

Hermione raised her head, not knowing if she has to talk to him about these dreams that were so annoying. Not that sex was something that repelled her, but it still remained a taboo in her eyes. She was reluctant to talk about it when needed, and even more when she needed to talk about it with the man who terrorized her since she was eleven.

"I dreamed of you," she blurted out in a breath.

"Really..." he replied, leaning slightly forward, approaching her.

Hermione nodded slowly, and her eyes met those of her former teacher. A glow that was unknown to her was in his eyes, and a strange grimace distorted his lips.

"But this is not the most important," she said quickly. "Last night I had a dream to say the least strange. You were in a forest, near a clearing, ready to succumb to your wounds, and ..."

Severus listened to half. His eyes were fixed on the lips of his assistant that moved sensuously as she told him about the last dream she had had the previous night. Was he really listening? He knew the dream by heart, he had been doing it for over a year. But those lips ... They seemed so sweet from where he was, so luscious .. How could he not have noticed that during all these years? _She was young, so young_, an inner voice whispered. She was still young in some way. But at almost 20 years-old, she was at the height of desirable and hearing that she had dreamed of him with so much modesty sparked in him desires he didn't suspect. He remembered the moan she let out a few days earlier when she had most likely made a dream to say the least... _Sexual. _Suddenly, he absently ran a hand at his crotch in order to release the pressure slowly rising in him. Severus saw Hermione slightly opened her mouth, and his eyes went up to the young woman who was looking at... His crotch.

"Miss..." he whispered, shifting his hand slightly so that it rested on the chair.

The eyes of the young woman went up quickly, and Severus noticed that she was red with shame. He was almost feeling the heat that emanated from her from where he was, and it made her even more desirable. He had only one desire, to stand up and take her there, on that chair that had never known such sexual intercourse. However, he managed to regain his senses with the greatest difficulty and leaned against the chair.

"You were telling me your dream of yesterday. Go on..."

Hermione swallowed hard, trying also to forget what she had seen. She had felt Severus' gaze wander over her body, her lips, and then ... The hand that he had slipped around his crotch, exerting a slight pressure on the thick fabric of his dress, all contributed to make her lose the thread of her thoughts. She had stopped her story to the arrival of Lily at their side, and resumed at that time.

"I saw Lily Potter, Harry's mother and... I know it was only a dream, but in my heart, I can not help thinking that there is some truth that is hidden in it. I can not explain why, but..."

"Because it's the truth."

The silky voice of her Master interrupted her and Hermione waited for him to continue. Severus leaned his chin on the hand he had placed on the armrest of the chair and answered her silent query.

"Yes, Miss Granger, it is possible that you have swallowed a few drops of the potion that we prepared together last week. It is also possible that some dreams that you did or that you will make in the coming days have some truth in them. Some of them, not all of your dreams, I want to make myself clear. The dream which featured Lily is indeed a reflection of reality," he concluded.

Hermione slightly squinted, trying to understand what Severus was telling her.

"You mean... Lily Potter saved you that day?", she let out in a laugh. "This is insane."

Severus's face hardened.

"It is by no means a fool, Miss, and I ask you to keep your little thoughts for you. What I'm about to tell you is of major importance, and I have to tell you about it by _obligation_, not by desire to do it. So keep your familiarities for you, is that clear?"

Offended, Hermione nodded and did not say a word. Severus seemed satisfied.

"Good. To answer your question, yes, I was saved by Lily Potter. Or if you want, since rationality seems to be something close to your heart, it is her ghost that came to my rescue."

" How is it possible..." she could not help murmuring.

"You see, the day our world changed, your dear friend Harry put his hand on the Resurrection Stone. I'm certainly not saying something that you don't know about..." he continued, giving her a piercing look.

"I know very well what happened that day."

"So you're aware that he used this stone into the Forbidden Forest and was able to see some of his deceased relatives, including his mother and father."

"I know that..."

"For some reason unknown to me," said Severus, "I've also been in the Forbidden Forest that night. Maybe it was a trick of the fallen Dark Lord so that people have greater difficulty in finding me after a death which was almost certain. Whatever. The main thing is that I was in the forest that night, near a clearing."

"As in my dream," Hermione continued.

"As in your dream..." Severus repeated with a smile, happy to see that she was receptive to his story. "And that night, when I was close to death and almost happy to finally find some rest, she came to my rescue. Lily Potter."

Hermione might listen Severus Snape, but what he said made no sense to her. How Lily Potter was able to save him? How does a ghost from the past had been able to bandage his wounds that were, she still remembered, gaping? She remembered his waxy air, blood flowed freely on her knees when she was near him, she remembered the pain he felt, she was still seeing him sinking into unconsciousness in front of her. _How_?

The young woman realized she had asked this question aloud when Severus nodded.

"This is a question that remains unanswered even now, I'm afraid. I asked myself for months before coming to the conclusion that I would never have the answer to this question. But I am sure of one thing: she saved me, Hermione. I would not be here if it had not been the case."

Hermione winced when he pronounced her name, but merely probing his eyes. Could it be true? Long minutes passed in silence before the girl spoke again.

"This does not explain why I'm doing such dreams..." she whispered.

"I just explain it," he replied, slightly annoyed by her remark.

"I'm talking about the other dreams..."

A slight smile reappeared on the face of her Master as he rose from his chair. Instinctively, Hermione did the same, thinking they would go to his laboratory to begin their workday, but Severus took a step toward her, closing the distance between them in less than a second. Hermione didn't look up to him, but a fine hand passed under her chin, forcing her to look up. She could feel his breath on her face, and she had only to put on tiptoe to taste his lips. However, she did not move, content to devour his face with her eyes. Severus absently pushed a strand of hair behind her ear in a gesture filled with sweetness, far away from the image she had of her Master. _Except in your dreams_, said her small inner voice, amused. So close to her, he seemed even more imposing, yet his features seemed to be thinner, more... Attractive.

Severus's hand left her chin to drift gently to her lips that he stroked, using his thumb. Unwittingly, Hermione gently closed her eyes and let out a sigh. Suddenly, Severus spoke.

"Your dreams, Hermione, are a reflection of our common fantasies..." he murmured as his lips approached hers.


	9. IX - Desire

My my my... You're amazing, we passed the 40 reviews and are close to 100 followers. So thanks to everyone! I hope that you'll like this chapter. No evil cliff this time!

By the way, I got a question for all of you related to last chapter. **What do you think of Lily's return?** I don't want to spoil or anything since I got my idea on the subject, but do you think that it's a good thing if she comes back or not? Just tell me. :)

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**IX. Desire **

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and you soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful."

- **Oscar Wilde**

* * *

A second. A second in which the thoughts of the young woman became entangled like in a tornado. Hermione took a second to ask herself a multitude of questions, but the second was not enough to find the answers to these questions.

At the end of this second, Severus Snape's lips made contact with hers, and she had a reaction to the least unexpected: she did not move. Eyes open, she realized the absurdity of the situation, while Severus closed his eyes and kissed her with increasing fervor. But what was happening, was she still dreaming?

The man pressed his lips against hers and eventually realized her coldness towards him. He pulled away from her slightly, ending the kiss, and frowned as if to show his incomprehension. Hermione stepped back, and hit the armchair that was behind her. She slightly lost her balance but caught herself by resting on the armchair before meeting the gaze of her Master. She didn't know what to think. Had he really kissed her? She ran a hand to her lips, and blushed as she realized what she was doing right in front of Severus Snape. The latter didn't move, and eventually crossed his arms over his chest.

Hermione tried to regain control of her emotions, and she suddenly remembered the last sentence her Master had told her. These dreams would therefore show fantasies... _Common_ fantasies?

"Do you have the same dreams?" she whispered.

Not to mention the kiss they had just exchanged was the best thing to do for her. But she soon realized that she had diverted the conversation on such a hot topic.

Severus slightly cleared his throat, but do not leave her gaze.

"It is possible, Miss."

Hermione let out a nervous laugh that didn't escape the impressive man who stood before her.

"May I know what amuse you?"

"I'm just thinking... I don't think that you do the same dreams, Master. They are quite ambiguous and I doubt that..."

"What happened in your dreams, _Hermione_?"

Hearing her name in his mouth was sensual, almost sexual. His silky and serious voice triggered desires inside her which echoed her own dreams... Three weeks ago, she had felt a reluctance to work along her former teacher, twenty years her senior, and now she felt desire for him. No doubt that the dreams that had haunted her nights got something to do with this sudden desire, since Severus Snape hadn't an innate charm, far from it. A part of her was still trying to resist the unexpected attraction, but for how long?

"I'm listening," Severus replied, a slight smile on the corner of his mouth.

Did she have to explicitly talk about her dreams? They were embarrassing, and yet... She wanted to confide in the man who had just kissed her, showing her that his lips were as soft as in her dreams. Hermione took a deep breath and eventually talked.

"These are just dreams, I really don't know why you give so much importance to them," she began, shaking her head as if to dramatize the situation. "However, if you insist to know, well... In most dreams where you are one of the protagonists, we... We have sex," Hermione admitted, red cheeks.

"Is that all?" Severus whispered, approaching slightly, reducing the distance between them.

"I don't see how I could be more explicit than that, Master..."

"Of course you can... Tell me what I did to you in these dreams, Miss."

Their eyes met and Hermione tilted her head slightly to the right, as if to ask him why he was so anxious to know her dreams in detail. Images of their imaginary antics suddenly came back to her, and she had to make an effort to ignore the heat that was growing between her legs.

"Why is it so important to you?" she asked.

Severus approched her, and she could again feel his breath on her face. Images mingled in her mind and she just wanted one thing: to feel his lips on hers. She now knew that she would neither push nor remain indifferent to this sweet caress. In her heart, Hermione knew that she wanted to feel him against her, to know the sensations she had only imagine during her lonely nights.

"I just don't want to disappoint you when your dreams will come true..." he muttered as he approached her again, bringing in their bodies in contact.

Hermione felt her breasts raising under her dress, and she thought that Severus had to feel them also. She raised her head to meet his gaze, and the glow of desire she read in them confirmed that yes, he was feeling her against him. The heat emanating from between her thighs began to be unbearable, and she began to rub slightly against the body of her master, without even realizing it. Her instinct had led to this sensual gesture, although imperceptible. However, she knew that Severus had felt her moving against him when his hand rested frankly on her hip, rubbing without sweetness the fabric of her dress.

"You seem to be very impatient, Miss..."

Hermione bit her lower lip just when Severus leaned forward to capture her mouth. This time, Hermione couldn't resist, and she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. Severus kept his hand on her hip while stroking her hair with his right hand. Hermione moaned softly against his lips and felt his erection growing against her leg. Severus continued to kiss her wildly, occasionally biting her lips, and Hermione was lost. Lost in the arms of the man who was making her feel things unknown until then, lost in her emotions, lost between reason and passion. Part of her was yelling at her to take advantage of this moment of pure ecstasy, to let this experienced man to teach her everything she did not know, while her reason told her that she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life and that some things had to be experienced with the man you love, not with the man you desire.

What was she doing there?

**XxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

Severus felt Hermione stiffen slightly against him. However, he did not stop kissing her, and showed himself even more enterprising in his caresses, running his hands under her dress and gently caressing the back of her thighs. She was sweet, so sweet, too sweet. He wanted her as he had never wanted a woman for a long time. Of course, he had known the pleasures of the flesh with many women for over twenty years, but never, oh never, he was so excited by the idea of having a woman in his arms. He didn't know if it was her youth that drove him crazy, or if it was the fact that she was the smartest woman he had the opportunity to be close to during his life that he could not curb his desires towards her.

He needed to dive into her, he needed to _feel her around him_, and it had nothing to do with why he needed her in the first place, he knew that. Severus knew that she was smart enough to want to help him in his quest without needing her to give up thanks to sex. He knew it, but he wanted to ignore that little voice that seemed to bring him to reason. _He wanted her._

But Hermione was less receptive to his kisses, he felt it. After a few minutes, he broke away from her lips for the second time that day. Hermione seemed lost, and her lips, blushed from their passionate kiss made her even more desirable, if possible. Severus didn't however move away from her, and she could still feel the evidence of his desire against her body.

"What's going on there?" he asked in a soft voice.

Hermione shook her head, looking down.

"I don't think that it's a good idea, Master..."

"Severus."

"Excuse me?" she asked, raising her head quickly.

"Call me Severus."

Hermione looked into his eyes for a few seconds, trying to know if he was joking or not, and finally nodded.

"Very well then, _Severus_," she said in a whisper. "I don't know if..."

"Do you want us to go further or not?" he interrupted her.

He saw her struggling inside with her principles before answering, and deep down, he wanter her to choose passion over reason.

"Yes, but... Severus, I... I have never..."

She broke off, biting her bottom lip as if she didn't feel at ease, and he realized. It would not have bet it, though. Severus had thought that at twenty years-old, the young woman had already experienced the pleasures of the flesh with her eternal redhead friend, but he was obviously wrong. He then thought that her dreams had meant a lot for her, more than he could have imagined.

He ran a gentle hand on her face and placed a light kiss on her lips.

"I'll wait then," he whispered before moving back, releasing the pressure of his body against hers. "When you're ready, I'll be there."

He then eclipsed in his laboratory in movement of cape. Hermione heard the lock snap behind him, and she found herself alone in the living room, her legs trembling. Her hand wandered to her lips, and she slightly closed her eyes to recall the passionate kiss they had just exchanged. Why had she said something like that? She knew in her heart what she really wanted, and all that she wanted now was...

_Severus Snape._


	10. X - Sacrifice and acceptance

Wow, thank you for your reviews, I'm happy to see that some of you like this story. :) I got a lot of ideas about Lily's return, and I think that I made my decision.

Happy new year everyone, and I hope that you'll enjoy this chapter!

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**X. The ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate acceptance**

"We don't love anymore when the sacrifices cost; we love little when we notice that we make it."

- **Duc de Lévis**

* * *

Surrounded by a multitude of books, a dozen parchments spread out in front of him, Severus ran a weary hand over his face. It had been several hours since he had dismissed Hermione when she had came knocking on the laboratory door, anxious to know if he needed her to work with him. His voice had been a whisper when he asked her what she was doing there, and she dared not meet his eyes. He had to admit that he had answered her very curtly, and then the young woman had vanished, quickly rising the stairs leading to her room.

Since then, Severus had locked himself in his office, working tirelessly to forget what had happened in the lounge.

He had been on the verge of making her his own, closed to fully own her, but he had resisted, in his great surprise. Severus Snape was not the type to abdicate so easily under normal circumstances, far from it. Women who had had the opportunity to be in his arms were generally the ones who abdicated, those who were craving for his caresses. Severus knew that his physical appearance didn't play in his favor, far from it. It was probably for this reason that he always focused on the pleasure he was able to provide to the women who shared his bed, so they keep a pleasant memory of their lovemaking. For twenty years, this technique had worked perfectly, and Severus was - almost - satisfied with his sex life.

This was obviously not the case of his love life, but was it important? For years, Albus Dumbledore had tried to make him understand that it was time to turn the page, time to start a new life in some way, but he didn't listen. In his heart, Severus knew that it was impossible. He always told to Dumbledore that his work as a double agent in the service of the Order was an obstacle to any love affair, even though in his heart he knew that it was for another reason that he had drawn a cross on love.

_Lily Potter._

For years, Severus had mourned the one he had dearly loved for many years, the one who had left with another one. The one who had started a family, carrying in her womb the fruit of her love for James Potter, the vermin that had stolen everything from him.

For years, Severus closed on himself, almost losing the ounce of humanity that still existed in him.

But a year ago, life appeared to him in a new light. Was it the fact of being so close to death that opened his eyes, he was not sure. To see again the face of the one who had gone away from him by aversion by Black Magic had made him aware of the mistakes he had made in the past. To know that he had the possibility, however small, to get her back into his life and set things right between them was the best thing that happened in this life since a long time.

Severus turned with an impatient hand the page of the book that was near him, and quickly wrote a few words on the parchment. Satisfied, he reread it carefully.

_" Ingredients:_

_- Five drops of Horklump juice (Known for its healing ability. Horklump juice must be extracted two nights before the full moon and kept cool)_

_- A drop of Acromantula venom ( despite its name, can restore nerve connections. The venom must be pure and undiluted for maximum efficiency)_

_- Two moonstones: a powdered one, directly into the preparation of the potion, and a whole one to serve for the ritual)_

_- Bark of sorb (needed to bring to life)_

_- Flobberworm mucus (binder for the potion)_

_- Three Jobberknolls feathers (to regenerate memory)_

_- Blood"_

Severus paused in his reading, slightly confused. The ingredients were not the easiest to find, and he knew that several months would be required to have them all. Acromentula venom was terribly expensive, and there was currently no seller of ingredients who had it in storage for over a year. He needed to go extract the venom himself, and the task was not easy. Horklump juice was easier to extract, as the Horklump was an invasive plant that was found in quantity in all gardens. But the conservation of this juice was not simple, and it expired quickly if the temperature was not constant, to the nearest degree. In addition, there was the drawback of extracting the juice two nights before full moon... Again, he couldn't rely on a seller and should extract himself this highly toxic juice.

As for the last ingredient... _Blood_. He wrote this last ingredient with a trembling hand. Severus swallowed hard and took up his pen. He kept it in his hand for long seconds before making contact with the yellowed parchment.

" _- Blood ( it is essential that the blood comes from a person of the same sex as the person who is the subject of this ritual. The oath: the donor need to say that he will do everything possible to bring back to life the deceased one. Two extractions of blood are needed: the first one will take place at the beginning of the making of the potion, and the flask must be cooled during the time required for gathering the ingredients. The second extraction will take place the evening of the ritual, necessarily at full moon, and will be unlimited: the extraction may be terminated only when the complete resurrection of the deceased is fulfilled)_ "

Severus gently rested his pen and reread the last paragraph he had written. He was not sure about the success of this ritual, far from it. But this was what he found most interesting and convincing throughout his research and his tests a few months earlier on mice. Unfortunately, his tests were unsuccessful, and he had just obtained a last breath from the mouse that had died a few hours earlier. This, however, didn't stop him in believing in the success of the ritual, and he would have to convince Hermione Granger to help him.

However, he knew the risks for her. She had a good chance of losing her life, and that was why he was still looking for another effective way to not reach such extremes. He began to fell things for the young woman, things that didn't look like him. It certainly wasn't love, no. It was more like a physical attraction, a desire to be near her, to take her in his arms and be the first to make her feel the most enjoyable things. But deep down, a little voice kept asking him every day if he could sacrifice the life of the one he wanted to be with the woman he loved. And to his surprise, Severus always answered the silent question with...

**Yes**.

**XxxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hermione was locked in her bedroom since the end of the morning. Or rather, she thought, in the room that Severus Snape had made available for her the time of their collaboration.

"Collaboration... You don't say," she muttered, angrily turning the page of the book that she was trying to read for more than an hour.

Certainly, the young woman would have been disturbed to find herself in the company of the man who had kissed her with such fervor that morning, but she was mad at him for rejecting her so dryly a few hours earlier. It wasn't her who had thrown herself on him if her memories were good, so why had he pushed her away after saying that he would wait for her to be ready to go further?

_You didn't perhaps thrown on him first, but you rubbed yourself against him_... a small voice whispered in herself. Hermione blushed at the memory of this moment. Severus triggered in her desires she didn't know about, and yet... She had had experiences with Ron, but they never managed to do it entirely. It was not for lack of trying though. Ron wanted to know the pleasures of the flesh and he never missed an opportunity to let her know. But Hermione was not ready at the time, and Ron had finally gone for three years with Harry to follow his training to become an Auror. It had put an end to their relationship, and neither one nor the other was too shaken by the break. Hermione knew from Harry that Ron had a lot of conquests when they had days off, and she didn't care about it. Instead, she was happy not to have been forced to do something she would regret with him.

Severus was the opposite of Ron. He was smart, and it was something very important in the eyes of the young woman. This intelligence that emanated from him made him look more imposing than Ron had never had, and Hermione felt confident when she was near him. Admittedly, the first few days were difficult, and she had felt more fear than she would have thought, but the last few days - since these dreams she made - this fear turned into desire.

Hermione cast a glance at the clock that was hanging on the wall, and she saw that he was almost 10 pm. She had not eaten all day, and she was famished. She was already in pajamas, but she didn't expect to meet Severus at this late hour. Hermione quickly pushed the book that was laying on her stomach and left her bed in the direction of the kitchen.

**XxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxX**

"Good evening, Miss Hermione."

Hermione stopped when she heard a slightly quavering voice talking to her. When she wondered who it was, a small house elf approached her, a slight smile on her little face.

"Artie," Hermione replied, returning her smile. "I didn't see you, sorry."

"Do you want dinner, Miss? Artie can prepare a meal and bring it to you in a few minutes."

Hermione shook her head and walked to the fridge.

"Don't worry, Artie. I'll do it myself."

"No, no, Miss Hermione! Let Artie do it, Artie must cook for the inhabitants of the Snape house!"

The elf seemed horrified by the words of the young woman, and Hermione stopped a few feet from the fridge, not knowing what to do. Suddenly she heard footsteps, and a black silhouette appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. Their eyes met, and Hermione suddenly remembered that she was wearing a tight black tank top and a small red silk shorts. She instinctively crossed her arms over her chest, before the deep voice of her Master rise in the room.

"Prepare dinner for two, Artie."

And without a word, he left the kitchen, going in the dining room. Hermione didn't move right away, but had to do so when the elf rushed to the fridge to prepare dinner. Had he said "_dinner for two_" ?, she thought as she left the kitchen. She came face to face with Severus who had taken place at the table, where he showed a bottle of wine and two glasses. Reluctant, Hermione ended up taking place at the other end of the table. Severus didn't seem to pay attention to her presence, and he filled the two glasses of wine. Hermione let out a slight laugh.

"Do you plan to drug me tonight, Severus?"

The latter looked up quickly.

"I beg your pardon?" he murmured.

"Did you shed a few drops of the dream simulator in the wine this time?", she asked.

A small grin formed on his lips while he drank a sip of wine.

"I think that I don't have to use this subterfuge anymore. You can dream of me without it, _Hermione_."

Hermione hid her embarrassment by taking a sip of wine, and didn't say a word before the dishes arrived. Artie disposed a large plate in front of her, while the woman whispered a "thank you" and she disappeared after doing the same in front of Severus. They began to eat in silence, before Severus spoke again.

"There are some things I need to talk to you about, Hermione. I don't know if this is the right time to do it, but I'll have to do it one time or another, so..."

Hermione gently placed her fork on her plate and watched carefully.

"I'm listening."

Severus took a large sip of wine.

"You see, I told you this morning how I came back to life, in a very mysterious way."

"Thanks to Lily Potter," Hermione interrupted.

"Yes, thanks to her. But I didn't tell you everything. Lily Potter had certainly saved me that night, but she did something more. She also instilled in my mind an idea, a crazy idea that haunts me for over a year now."

He paused, and Hermione felt a shiver up her spine. For some reason she didn't know, she had a bad feeling. And yet she wanted to know more about it.

"What is this idea?" she whispered, so low that she was not sure he had heard.

"I want Lily Potter back among us, Hermione."

The young woman, who just drank a sip of wine, almost choked, and Severus quickly rose to be at her side. She coughed for long seconds, and noted the presence of Severus at her side. He took her hand in his and passed a delicate hand on her back.

"Are you alright?"

Hermione nodded before turning her attention to the man who was kneeling beside her, looking worried.

"What do you mean? It is impossible, Severus, we can't bring back the dead and... It is against nature..."

She saw his jaw tighten, and he rose rapidly, looking her up and down.

"I don't expect you to judge me. I just want to know if you want to be part of this adventure. I do not promise that things will work as I expect, but... I need you to try, to help me. Trust me, please..."

He whispered these words, and Hermione stood up slowly to face him. She took a long moment to probe his eyes, trying to understand without asking any questions. What he had just said was nonsense. She knew that it was impossible, that we could not bring back the dead like that, and yet... Yet, in her heart, she wanted to say yes, she wanted to please him and see where it was going to take them. Then she nodded.

Severus narrowed his eyes, trying to understand the meaning of this gesture.

"You mean..." he began, a hint of hope in his voice.

"Yes, I want to help you, Severus."

Hermione had expected all sorts of reactions from Severus. She initially thought he would have had his eternal grin on his lips, then she thought that he might have been enthusiast enough for rewarding her with a smile. But she would never have thought that he would have taken her face in his hands and kissed her ardently.

Ever.

* * *

Will they end in a bed together in the next chapter? Mmh, we'll see! :D


	11. XI - All I want is you

Smutty smutty chapter ahead, you've been warned...

Again, thanks for all your kind words! I know that sometimes I'm rude with the characters, but well, I love drama. But if in the end they're together, that doesn't count, right? ;)

Enjoy, and tell me what you think!

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**XI. All I want is you **

" Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

**- Billy Crystal**

* * *

Severus' hands wandered along the body of the young woman, becoming more impetuous over the time. They descended down her hips, before drifting to go back to her chest a few seconds later. Hermione had no more sense of reality, of the time, and she wouldn't even be able to say what her name was. The only thing she was aware, it was the body of Severus Snape pressed against hers, giving her an immeasurable pleasure. How did she get there? An hour earlier, she was in her bed, flipping through a potions' book without much enthusiasm, and now she was in his arms, in the middle of the dining room, letting him to devour her mouth as if it were the last day of their life.

Severus growled when Hermione gently bit his bottom lip, and he pushed her against the dining table. The back of the young woman hit the heavy wood and Severus lifted her without sweetness before putting her on the table. The table was cold, and Hermione stifled a cry of surprise when it came into contact with her bare skin. _Her shorts were definitely too short_, she then said to herself when Severus' hands went behind her back. She was now at its height, and she no longer had to raise her head to kiss him. Their kisses became wilder, and Hermione felt a very pleasant heat taking possession of her belly. Without realizing it, she let out a moan when Severus's lips quickly untied her mouth, to give them a chance to catch their breath. A smirk appeared on the face of her Master, and quickly disappeared when he took possession of her lips again.

Their tongues were caressing each other without sweetness, and Hermione felt a shiver up her spine at the thought of what they were about to do. She wasn't afraid of what would happen, far from it, but she couldn't help but feel a reluctance to the idea of losing her virginity in such circumstances, and especially... In such a place.

Severus noticed her discomfort, because he once again broke their kiss, a worried look on his face. His hand came to rest on the cheek of the young woman he gently stroked with his thumb.

"What's going on there?" he whispered breathlessly.

"Everything's fine, Severus," she lied, becoming closer of the man who was between her thighs. "Pick up where we left off..."

The hand of her Master down along her hip, and he shook his head slightly.

"Don't do that with me, Hermione. What's wrong?"

Hermione sighed before looking down, embarrassed.

"I just didn't think... That what we are about to do would be held... Here."

Severus didn't move for a few seconds that seemed interminable, and then he lifted her without a word, forcing her to put her legs around his hips. Hermione wanted to go down, but he held her firmly against him as he walked towards the stairs.

"But what..." she began.

"I'll take you in a more suitable place," he whispered against her ear as he pushed bluntly the bedroom door of the young woman.

For a second, Hermione wondered why the man who had just drop her on her bed without sweetness chose to take her to her room. Why had he avoided his own room, though it was closer to the stairs? That thought vanished quickly when he stretched out on her, surely unwittingly recreating the first night he had appeared in her dream. His mouth crashed into hers, and she felt Severus' hand down her shorts, lowering it slowly. No sweetness emanated from his gestures, and yet, Hermione couldn't help but feel a certain sensuality that emanated from what they were doing. The reality of what was happening in this bed began to emerge in her mind:_ she was about to make love with Severus Snape_.

This idea alone excited her more. She ran her hands around his shoulders, pressing him more against her. Hermione could now feel the expression of his desire collide in the most sensitive part of her anatomy, and then, she realized that her shorts were a distant memory. The heavy fabric of Severus' dress was rubbing against her panties, and she closed her eyes, trying to focus on the pleasure she was feeling with this simple friction. It was only after a few seconds she realized that Severus had left her lips and she quickly opened her eyes. In the darkness, she could see the face of her Master a few inches from her own, and their eyes met. She could read in his eyes an infinite desire, surely heightened by the vision of pleasure she had just given him a few seconds earlier.

"I just want to give you some pleasure," Severus murmured by detaching himself from the body of the young woman.

Hermione wanted to bring him back against her, but he took her wrists in his large hands, pinning them above her head.

"Don't move..."

After dropping a quick kiss on her lips, he slid down her body, gently lifting the tank of the young woman to put a multitude of kisses on her breasts. Hermione moaned softly when Severus took her right nipple in his mouth, sucking it for long seconds. She had never experienced such sensations. And it was nothing compared to what she felt when the mouth of her former teacher left her chest to venture into her belly that he nibbled on numerous occasions, making her scream with pleasure. Her body was so sensitive that merely feeling his hands on her was enough to drive her crazy.

And what about when his mouth ventured near her panties he sent down along her legs with infinite slowness... Hermione had to hold her breath to not tell him to hurry. After nearly a minute of torture, Severus ended up facing her privacy, and Hermione could feel his hot breath just inches from her pubis. Instinctively, she slightly raised her hips, but Severus anticipated her move and put his hands on her hips, preventing her from moving. He looked up at her and gave her a mocking grin.

"Do not be impatient, Hermione... Everything comes to him who waits..."

Frustrated, Hermione leaned back against the pillows, closing her eyes in order to not suffer the vision of this man between her thighs. However, a few seconds later, she strongly reared, intoxicated by the feeling of the tongue of Severus on her clit. He wasn't just kissing her there, no. It was much more than that His tongue moved with a slow pace on the sex of the young woman, and Hermione ran a hand through Severus's hair, urging him to keep that pace. For long minutes, the Potions Master ate her, alternating between sucking and licks of infinite sweetness. Hermione was lost, lost in the pleasure she was feeling, lying on the bed that had probably never experienced such lovemaking, except in her dreams. Now she was wearing a tank top that was half raised, stroking the head of her former professor who was between her legs. She finally gently press the head of Severus against her, and a few seconds later, she was rubbing against his mouth, moaning, forgetting all sense of embarrassment. Hermione had just experienced her first orgasm with a man and she was short of breath when she leaned back against the pillows.

A few seconds later, Severus slowly went up to her face and placed a light kiss on her lips. Hermione slowly smiled against his lips and suddenly heard him murmuring two incantations. The first was probably a contraception one. Then, as she put her hand on his arm, she saw that Severus was now naked, and looked at her own chest to see that her shirt had also disappeared.

It was difficult to distinguish the contours of his body in the dark, so she let her hands go through his chest, feeling some fine cracks, signs of scars. Severus took her right hand in his , resting on the bed with his left hand and placed a light kiss on the hand that was caressing him a second earlier. Hermione realized that his scars were taboo, and she didn't insist. Severus knew how to distract her by gently rubbing himself against her, bringing in their intimacies in contact. Hermione gently bit her lower lip, suddenly apprehensive. What would happen if it hurt too much ? Severus felt her discomfort and slowly leaned forward to give her a promising kiss.

"Relax... Everything will be okay, I promise you."

Hermione nodded , and gently closed her eyes as he began his advance in her, resting on the mattress in order to not hurt her. The sensation was strange, and she felt her body relax slightly to let him pass. Suddenly, she frowned and Severus stopped immediately. He said nothing, only waiting her to relax and be ready to take him. Entirely.

That moment finally arrived, and Severus sank deeper into her, enjoying the fact that she was so thight around him. He had never experienced such warmth, such a pleasure. He ended up being fully in her, and he kissed her fervently, while preventing himself from moving into her, even if he was dying to do it.

After a minute, Hermione put her hands in the back of her Master, prompting him to move.

"Severus...," she whispered against his lips.

It was all she needed to say to convince him. Severus began to penetrate her, with a slow and deep pace, taking care to touch her clit at each penetration. He wanted her to have a good memory of her first time, and he did everything in his power to ensure that this was the case. Hermione gasped against his ear, and he felt her close to ecstasy. Severus then quickened his pace, rising in order to put his hands on Hermione's hip. He was so close and he finally let go and emptied himself in her in a groan.

He then withdrew from her warmth, and lay down beside her, exhausted.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered.

"What are you talking about?"

"I ... I couldn't wait."

Hermione raised an amused eyebrow, staring at the ceiling.

"You don't have to apologize. It was a very pleasant experience, Severus."

Severus didn't answer, and after a few minutes of heavy silence , she saw him get up and put on his robes. Surprised, Hermione pulled the duvet over her naked body as he walked towards the door without a word to her.

"Severus?"

Her voice was a whisper, but he seemed to hear it, because he slightly turned toward her.

"Good night, Hermione."

The door to her room closed softly on his tall figure, and Hermione sighed. For some reason she didn't know, she had thought that he would have stayed with her that night, her bed being big enough for two. And yet, he had to leave, without extra caresses, without a kiss for her. He had promised nothing, of course, but she had thought...

Hermione shook her head as if to chase these absurd ideas of her mind, not knowing that Severus Snape was still leaning against the door of her room, torn between the desire to return in her arms and his reason that was telling him to join his own room. He eventually chose the second solution after several minutes, while the young woman was already asleep.


	12. XII - At the dawn of our feelings

Another descriptive chapter... But I describe feelings this time, I hope that you'll like it.

HUGE THANKS for your kind words, it really makes my day. Keep them coming, the more reviews I got, the more happy I am, the more I write! :)

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**XII. At the dawn of our feelings**

"All the feelings have this unusual feature that we believe to feel them alone."

**- Jean-Paul Richter**

* * *

Another look at the clock that was in front of Hermione confirmed what she thought: time was moving slowly. It was only six o'clock, and the day was struggling to rise over London. A thick fog clung to her windows, and she raised her sheets on her hips.

She was awake since four o'clock and she couldn't sleep anymore. She had spent an hour lying on her back, listening to her breath, thinking that it will calm her. In vain. She then switched on her lamp, distractedly rereading all the notes she had taken since the beginning of her apprenticeship with Severus Snape. But Hermione had the greatest difficulty to concentrate, disturbed by the memories of the previous night that came back to haunt her. It wasn't just the moment of intimacy that she had shared with her former teacher that was disturbing her, but also the demand for less unexpected that he had told her.

He wanted to ressurect someone.

Hermione shook her head, still in shock of this revelation. To her great surprise, she said "yes" to this incongruous request. Her desire to be close to him, to please him as much as she wanted him to please her had taken over her reason that had urged her to think twice. The young woman had to admit she had thought more of the exhilarating experience that awaited them if they ventured on this path together - she knew Severus' passion for the art of potions pushed to its extreme - than the purpose and the end of this adventure. Because Severus wanted to do something that no wizard had managed to do for centuries: to return a deceased person among the living.

Of course, she was interested in the subject, and she studied it in the past. During her first year first, since the immortality provided by the Philosopher's Stone was close to the ability to bring the dead among the living. But she didn't have at that time sufficient evidence to demonstrate the possibility of such a thing. Or to prove the contrary, she thought. Admittedly, it was easy to say that such a thing wasn't possible, but it was another thing to prove it. The wizarding world was totally different than the Muggle world on this point. While such a thing was impossible in the Muggle world, the wizarding world had never really said that such a thing was impossible. The Deathly Hallows for example, used to be seen by many people as a simple children's story, but now all knew that this was not the case. _So why not?_

But now Hermione realized what such a resurrection would imply if they succeed. This was Lily Potter they were talking about, the mother of his best friend. She knew that growing up without his parents had affected Harry, and he was still suffering today. How would he react to such an announcement? And most importantly: _did she have to tell him about it?_

But there was another issue. She knew that Severus was not disinterested in this process. She understood over time and through her discussions with Harry that her Master had been madly in love with Lily as a teenager and that this love had continued beyond her death.

To her surprise, she suddenly felt a slight plucking in her heart. No, of course, she was not in love with Severus, no, she said to herself, pulling her legs close to her chest. How could she, she barely knew him... Certainly she felt the desire for him, and the night they had spent together had not had the desired effect on her. From the bottom of her heart, a small part of her had wanted to forget this insane desire she had for him. But this was not the case. Instead, she was disappointed to see that he didn't want to sleep with her after their lovemaking.

With a sigh, Hermione got up from her bed, trying to make as little noise as possible. After putting on her tank top and shorts, she placed the parchments she had spread on her bed on her desk and quietly opened the door to her room to take a shower. The bathroom was located next to the Severus' bedroom, and she didn't want to wake him. Besides, did she really want to see him after what happened yesterday?

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

Severus heard the door of the bathroom next to his room creak when he left his own bathroom. He quickly dried his hair, carelessly put a towel around his waist, and watched the sun rise over London through the window of his room.

He hadn't found sleep at night, and instead of returning to his room directly after leaving the young woman, he had come down to his office to seek alternative ways to the success of the ritual. But it hadn't worked, and he was beginning to think that he would never find anything else, and that endangering Hermione's life was a condition _sine qua non_ for the resurrection of Lily Potter.

He sighed, dropping the towel at his feet, naked as the first day. He quickly pulled on a pair of boxers and a clean robe, black as usual. A quick spell was due to help him finishing to dry his hair, and he sat on the edge of his bed, suddenly feeling tired. How would he be next to the one he had held in his arms a few hours before, which had given herself to him with such candor due to her young age?

Even if he wanted to, he could not regret what he had done. He had wanted it, _desperately wanted it,_ and he knew that Hermione had felt the same desire for him. However, a little voice whispered that it was he, Severus Snape, who had instilled this idea in his former pupil's innocent mind, making her know his own dreams, his own desires.

And then... The waiting look she gave him while he was leaving her room couldn't be erased from his mind. He had read so much in this regard, surprise, sorrow... He knew that look. He had that same look on the day Lily Evans had told him she could no longer be his friend, that day when she had abandoned him. He would never have thought to see that same look again, especially not from Hermione Granger, the most confident woman he knew.

Maybe he didn't know as much as he finally claimed about her... Maybe she had developed feelings toward him. Feelings she certainly would not have felt if he had explained the position she would occupy during the ritual.

But Severus knew that he had to tell her nothing until he was sure that there was no other way for her not to risk her life. Due to the complexity of the ingredients used, they still had at least two months before the completion of the ritual. Two months during which they will work together. Two months with her. _Two months_.

**XxxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hermione hurried down the stairs, and stopped in front of the laboratory door. She breathed deeply before bringing her hand near the door and hit it two times. She heard the door unlock, and she pushed it slowly, her eyes accustomed to the darkness that reigned in the room. Severus was turning his back to, sitting on a stool with what looked like a book lying on the table in front of him. Hermione swallowed hard, advancing to the middle of the room, not daring to disturb him. What could she say to him anyway?

After a few seconds, he finally returned to her, an impassive expression on his face. Hermione immediately recognized the piercing gaze he had given her a few hours before he...

"Good morning, Hermione."

His soft voice interrupted the course of her thoughts, and Hermione made a step towards him.

"Hello, Severus."

Severus stood, his book in hand, and walked towards her. Hermione held her breath, wondering what was going to happen, and couldn't help but feel some disappointment when he passed a few inches away from her without a gesture towards her. What is she waiting for? A kiss maybe? She shook her head as if to forget such thoughts, a move that Severus, who was only preparing to store the book he was reading a few minutes earlier, noticed. He stopped midway, near the young woman.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no, everything is fine. Everything is fine..." she added in a whisper, embarrassed by the sudden proximity of her Master.

Severus stared at her, and suddenly he advanced his hand to her face. Hermione opened her mouth, while her heart was beating faster and faster in her chest. Was he... going to touch her? She closed her eyes when he placed his thumb near her mouth, gently stroking her skin. However, he quickly removed his hand, and Hermione opened her eyes, surprised to not feel his hands on her anymore. A slight grin formed on Severus' face, who showed her his bleached thumb.

"A remnant of toothpaste... I suppose," he murmured, amused.

Hermione blushed intensely, embarrassed as she had never been. She stepped back quickly, putting some distance between her and the only person who could make her go to pieces with such ease. She bit her lower lip and walked to the vials she ranged distractedly, feeling tears in her eyes. Why was she reacting like that?, she cursed herself. There was no reason to cry, really. But the situation was complicated, and the fact that she had never felt such things for a man was certainly the main reason. She wanted to leave the lab, to go with her parents, to forget what had happened, to forget the expectations she had...

_But he needed her._

"Hermione..."

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to return, which she did. However, she lowered her head, not giving him the opportunity to meet her eyes misted with tears.

"Hermione..." he repeated.

Getting no response, he gently ran a hand under her chin, so she lifted her head towards him. A second later, his lips were against hers, and Hermione felt a tear run down his cheek. One. The rest was only sensation, hugs and kisses.

The day finally began better than she had hoped.


	13. XIII - With the woman I love

Finally, I am able to post this chapter! Hope that you'll like it.

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**XIII. "With the woman I love"**

"The heart has reasons that reason cannot know."

**- Blaise Pascal**

* * *

Severus opened his eyes and he froze when he discovered Hermione's face just inches from his, her hand resting on his arm. He turned on his back to escape the grasp of the young woman, meeting the fluffy surface of the blanket before putting the sheet over his naked chest. He had committed a mistake: he had slept next to her. The first mistake, he said to himself. But when he thought about it, the first mistake was made when he had put his eyes full of desire on her, and when he had made these erotic dreams about her and... When he had made love to her. Twice.

He sighed, trying to chase these ideas from his mind. No, he didn't take advantage of her, the decision was taken by the two of them. And the expression of happiness that was on her face at that moment was a proof.

Severus stood up slowly, leaning on the cold floor of the laboratory in order to stand. He didn't even know how long he had slept, and the lack of daylight in the room didn't make his task easier. He quickly put on his robe and turned around when he heard Hermione moan softly. He met her sleepy eyes while she straightened herself, without realizing the nakedness of her chest. Severus felt his jaw contracting to this vision, and he quickly turned away, heading for the ingredients. He heard her get up and get dressed, and it was only when he no longer heard any noise that he allowed himself to look again. Hermione was on his right, and she kept her eyes on the ingredients that were in front of him.

"I guess these are the ingredients needed for... For what you told me about," she murmured, still avoiding his gaze.

Severus' gaze lingered on her slightly bushy hair, then on her lips, pinked by their kisses. He was surprised by her professional attitude, even if they just had shared a moment of intimacy together.

"No, he finally said. "The ingredients we need are much more complex and harder to find than these."

"May I know what are these ingredients?"

Without a word, Severus headed for the bookcase that concealed his office and slid it sideways before entering the room. Hermione followed him, taking care of putting some distance between them. His desk was full of parchments, and Severus took a few seconds to find the document that interested him, before handing it to Hermione.

She took the parchment carefully and silently readed:

"_Ingredients:_

_- Five drops of Horklump juice (Known for its healing ability. Horklump juice must be extracted two nights before the full moon and kept cool)_

_- A drop of Acromantula venom ( despite its name, can restore nerve connections. The venom must be pure and undiluted for maximum efficiency)_

_- Two moonstones: a powdered one, directly into the preparation of the potion, and a whole one to serve for the ritual)_

_- Bark of sorb (needed to bring to life)_

_- Flobberworm mucus (binder for the potion)_

_- Three Jobberknolls feathers (to regenerate memory)"_

Severus stared at her. Would she realize that all of these ingredients were not enough for such a ritual? These ingredients have never been linked in the same potion before, but a mind as sharp as hers was necessarily realizing that the simple addition of these ingredients was not enough to bring someone to life. He saw her frown when she reached the end of the parchment, and she gave him a questioning look.

"These are all the necessary ingredients for... The resurrection?"

Hermione whispered the last word, as if she was afraid to be heard by too many people. Severus shook his head, casually pressing his back against the desk.

"This list is not complet. Indeed, an essential ingredient is missing to the success of this potion."

Severus couldn't admit that it was more a ritual than a simple potion. Saying that implied to tell her everything, and he couldn't do it. Not now, not like this.

Hermione paused, waiting for him to speak further.

"Your blood will also be necessary, Hermione."

**XxxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxX**

"I beg your pardon?"

Had she heard alright? Had Severus really told her he would have to use her blood to bring Lily Potter back to life? Hermione was torn between horror and surprise, and she recoiled towards the entrance of the office. Severus took a step toward her, shaking his head.

"This is just a sampling of a small amount of blood, Hermione. A vial, at most," he whispered.

The young woman relaxed slightly, but one question was burning her lips.

"Why my blood, Severus? I have no link with Lily Potter. Would it not make more sense to use the blood of a person sharing the same genetic heritage? Harry for example?"

"Do you really think that informing Harry Potter of what we are about to do is a good idea? Come on, Hermione, I thought that you were smarter than that," he replied dryly.

"I also thought that you were smarter than that, _Master_," she let out in a harsh voice, hurt by his words.

Severus felt his jaw contract, and he took another step toward her, menacingly.

"What do you mean, _Miss_?"

"What do _I_ mean? I just want to say that this potion is not going to work in the state of things, you know that as well as I do. I will not teach you that you are about to make something really close to a simple Wiggenweld potion, and Merlin knows it has never managed to return someone dead since a long time to life," she said.

Severus didn't answer immediately. He was only a few inches from the young woman who darted him a provocative look. What could he tell her? He knew that these simple ingredients were not enough, and yes, beyong one or two exceptions, these ingredients only served to make the Wiggenweld potion, the regenerating one. And this potion wasn't enough for bringing Lily Potter back, he knew it very well, having performed it over and over again. But he couldn't tell her about the ritual, no... He opted for the easy way.

"You know that the order of the ingredients is important, Hermione," he calmly began. "In addition, the blood of a person of the same sex, in this case your blood is at the heart of this potion. I don't think I exaggerate in saying that it is even the most important ingredient here. The full realization of this potion at full moon is also an important element. I wouldn't get in this adventure if I knew that it will fail, you can be sure of that... I tell you again, _trust me_."

Hermione was lost in the dark gaze of Severus Snape, trying to weigh the pros and cons. It was only some blood, a vial of her blood... But it was also bringing Lily Potter back, and there were so many things she couldn't control.

"Let's assume that I say "yes, I trust you". We will have to work together to collect all of these ingredients, isn't it?"

Severus nodded.

"Well," she whispered, turning her attention to the parchment she held in her hand. "I guess you haven't found Acromentula venom in apothecaries?"

"I haven't... How do you...?"

"You wouldn't ask me for help if you had," she simply replied.

_And that's where you're wrong, Hermione_, Severus thought, nodding again, without a word.

"And what will happen if the potion is effective, if... If Lily Potter returns among us?"

Hermione bit the inside of her cheek, fearing the response of the man who was still too close to her.

"You mean... Regarding to her son?"

"In general," she replied in a whisper." I'm talking about her place in the wizarding world, twenty years later. I'm talking about her place in your life..."

Severus froze, while Hermione faced his eyes. She seemed to expect a particular response from him, and deep down, he thought he knew what it was. She needed him to reassure her after these times spent together, she needed to know that nothing would change even if he found the woman who was so important in his life. Severus didn't think that Hermione Granger was in love with him, no. He just thought she had developed a certain attachment to him, and the fact of having made love to her in the most beautiful way twice certainly didn't help.

But Severus also knew he couldn't feel the same for the young woman who was in front of him. He could not bind to her, knowing that she may disappear soon. Because she would disappear from his life, he knew it. He just did not know _how_.

To give her hopes could serve his cause, of course. But as he plunged his look in her big brown eyes, he knew he couldn't do such a thing. He couldn't make her feel even stronger things for him. Hermione Granger deserved better than that.

"Her place," he began softly, "will be what she will decide. She will be able to begin a new life in the wizarding world, and she will also be able to stay with me. The choice will be up to her."

"And what will happen if she decides to stay with you," she whispered, fearing his answer.

A heavy silence settled in the room. Hermione Granger hated silences since her childhood. She hated these moments between two words where time stopped, where you could almost hear people breathing, almost hear them _thinking_. But she still preferred the silence to his answer.

"Then I will finally be with the woman I love."

* * *

How dare you Severus? :( But he seems to care for her, right?

Oh well, we'll see what wil happen. In the meantime, don't kill me but send me some nice reviews instead. :D


	14. XIV - The end of the road

Another day, another chapter!

I'm not 100% satisfied with this one, but oh well, we have to go through it one day or another.

A massive thank you for all your reviews, they really made my day! I'm working on a new fanfiction right now, and it will be posted today. Its title? **You came at the right time**. It's a Dramione, so if you like this pairing, don't forget to check my page in the next hours! ;)

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**XIV. The end of the road**

"The love that last forever is the love that is never returned."

**- William Somerset Maugham**

* * *

"Hermione!"

The young woman tightened a little harder her pillow in her arms, burying her head in its soft material. She let out a grunt, a sign that she was not in a good mood.

"Hermione!"

The female voice insisted, and Hermione turned on her back, opening her eyes instantly. She had finished her nap an hour ago, but she wanted to stay in her bed and not get out. Never leave it. She heard the footsteps approaching more and more of her room. The door slowly opened, completely contrasting with the shrill screaming she heard a few seconds before. Her mother poked her head through the doorway and gave her a shy smile.

"Hermione, your friends are there."

"What?"

"Harry, Ron and Ginny have just arrived. A defeaning entrance if you want my opinion," replied her mother.

Hermione sighed and quickly got out of her bed to put on something more... Decent. Her mother was already back down in the living room, and she heard snatches of discussion. She obviously recognized Ron's voice, deep and loud, his sister's thin voice, and Harry's intonations. She quickly tied the hair into a high bun after putting her pants and a tank top, and rushed down the stairs in a hurry. The joy of seeing her friends had replaced the surprise, and she took then in her arms.

"What are you doing here? And your studies?"

"We would not miss the birthday of our dear Hermione for anything in the world," Harry replied with a wink.

"We were able to negotiate a day off. It was not easy, especially since we're in the middle of the week, but our persuasiveness is unlimited, as you know," added Ron. "And Ginny..."

"I can speak for myself, thank you Ron," interrupted his sister. "I'm going to start my healer training in October, and I think that Hermione remembers!"

The two women exchanged an amused look, while Hermione's parents were bringing things to eat and drink. They all settled in the comfortable sofas, and made up for lost time. Harry and Ron told her about their second year of training to become an Auror, while Ginny lamented about having to wait another two weeks before the start of her internship at St. Mungo's.

"What about you, Hermione?" Harry asked. "How is your apprenticeship with our beloved Snape going?"

The smile Hermione had a few seconds earlier faded slowly, while memories of the night before came back to her.

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_She had thought that the day had started well. Certainly she had not expected to finish again in the arms of Severus Snape, but this perspective was not disagreeable to her, let alone when his lips were on hers like a few hours earlier._

_"Then I'll finally be with the one I love."_

_These words were still ringing in her head as she felt the eyes of her Master on her. She was frozen for some reason she did not know. Severus Snape could do what he wanted with his life, good for him. So why did she feel - again - this pinch in her chest, close to her heart? Her heart had also missed a beat when Severus had uttered these words..._

_Hermione finally raised her head, crossing the questioning look of Severus at the same time. With difficulty, she swallowed, not knowing what to say. In her heart, she wanted to spit in his face what she was thinking of his relationship with Lily Potter, Lily who had decided to make her life with James Potter and not with him for a good reason. How could he think that Harry's mother wanted to live a love story with him when the true love of her life was in the afterlife?_

_"I see"_

_The words had escaped her, and she saw Severus squint, as if he was trying to fathom her soul. What was he doing? Using Legimancy on her maybe? Hermione cringed at the thought, and this time, her back hit the cold stone wall near the entrance to the office._

_"Excuse me..." she whispered, leaving him with haste._

_Hermione quickly crossed the lab, and climbed the stairs two by two, slamming her bedroom door behind her._

_How had it come to this?, she thought, holding her tears with difficulty. Three weeks ago, she had began her cohabitation with her former teacher, frightened at the idea of spending time alone with him, but brave enough to put aside this feeling so their collaboration went well. And then these dreams, these silly dreams had instilled doubt in her mind: and what if he was the man she needed? She had given him everything, she had taken advantage of his hands on her body, his mouth..._

_Hermione closed her eyes at the thought, trying to focus on what was important. She told him yes. She told him she would help him in his crazy fight against death. Despite the feeling of rejection that she was feeling at this moment, Hermione knew she had to be there when he will need her._

_"Stupid loyalty... Gryffindor is not my house by chance," sighed the young woman, taking a tissue to wipe her eyes._

_She still had to bear his presence. But she could not help but wanted to take a step back, wanted to leave Spinner's End for a few days to put distance between them. But it was Tuesday and... Tuesday? Hermione looked up at the wall in front of her desk and squinted to read the calendar that was there. Wednesday, September 19. In one day, she would officially be 20 years old. This was surely the opportunity for a rest day. Given the circumstances, she had little hope that he accepted._

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

_And he accepted. With reluctance, certainly, but the determination she had shown had managed to make him yield. They spent the rest of the day without a word to each other, merely taking notes on the Acromantula venom they would have to go collect in the coming weeks. Hermione had left Spinner's End at the end of the day, not wanting to spend the night a few inches from Severus. He greeted her with a nod as she was about to leave the laboratory, leaving him at his researchs._

_Once she had crossed the threshold of the door, Severus took his head in his hands, wondering how he could be that silly. He had seen the pain in the eyes of the young woman when he had uttered these words. Of course, he meant every word he had said. He loved Lily, it was undeniable. He suffered martyrdom when she was found dead, and yet still suffered from her absence. But who was he to say that Lily Potter would want to stay with him and share a love story with him? So yes, if she came back, he would be with the woman he loved. But what about her?_

_His insecurities resurfaced, and he was foolish enough to definitively reject the only person who was able to understand him. The only woman who had given herself to him because she wanted to, not because she expected him to pay her for her availability._

_Angrily, Severus threw all the parchments that were on his desk on the floor. Tomorrow, Hermione Granger would be 20 years old. Could he still fix things between them?_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

It was nine o'clock in the morning when Hermione found herself in front of Severus' house. The previous day was perfect, and being with her friends had done her good. Her parents had been charming with them as usual, even if they didn't understand everything they said.

She took the key she had slipped into her bag before apparating, and inserted it into the lock. A few seconds later, she was in and she was able to take off her trench that had protected her from the freshness of the end of September.

They did not leave on good terms, and she somewhat feared her reunion with Severus. As she put her bag at her feet, she heard a noise coming from the laboratory. He was probably already at work, she thought, heading towards the heavy door. She knocked twice and entered.

Severus was casually leaning against the table as usual, a small package in his hands. He did not smile, yet his expression was more pleasant than usual. Hermione closed the door behind her, knowing he did not like working with the door open, and walked toward him hesitantly.

"Good morning, Severus."

"Happy Birthday, Hermione," he murmured.

"That was yesterday, but... Thank you," she replied softly.

"How would you have reacted if I had come home to your parents just to tell you this?"

"Bad, I suppose," she said, smiling.

Severus walked over to her and handed her the package he was holding in his hands. Intrigued, Hermione gave him a surprised look as she took the package wrapped in silver paper.

"Open it," Severus said, crossing his arms over his chest as he usually did.

Hermione tore the paper and found herself facing a small black box that she gently opened. Inside, resting on a small silver cushion, was a necklace composed of a pendant set with an emerald. She quickly looked up at Severus who was smiling.

"I... I don't know what to say, Severus, this is..."

"I hope the color does not remind you the Slytherin house too much," he interrupted her.

"Now that you mention it..."

Gently, Severus took the necklace in his hands, inviting her to turn herself. Hermione turned, slightly raising her hair. She felt the breath of her former teacher in the crook of her neck as he finished tying the necklace, and she gently closed her eyes when he put his hand on her. However, when she felt his lips on her neck, she could not help but release from his grip and turned back to him. Severus gave her a surprised look, not seeming to understand what he had done wrong.

Hermione took a step back, nervously biting her lower lip.

"Thank you for this wonderful gift, Severus, but... I think we are making a mistake," she said softly. I think it would be better if we just share a purely professional relationship from now."

Hermione had thought all night about how she should tell him that. She knew that she had to be there for him, yes, but she also knew that if they continued this relationship, she would suffer _one day or another_.

She saw Severus gratify her with a nod, and he quickly turned away, heading towards the cauldron which was beginning to smoke.

"What are you waiting for? We have a lot of work today, _Miss_."

His authoritative tone took her from her torpor, and she walked quickly to the vials that she handed him.

_I made the right choice, I made the right choice, I made the right choice_, she thought as she felt the jewel he had given her caressing her breast.

Yes, she had made the right choice.


	15. XV - You'll be the death of me

Oy oy!

Here's the last chapter of the week, folks. I'm going in the South of France tomorrow morning (I just decided today haha), so don't expect any update before next Tuesday or Wednesday.

Don't forget to let me know what you think of the progression of this fanfiction! I got a pretty good idea of how things will turn in the next chapters, but it will be cool to brainstorm a little more! :)

I hope that you will enjoy this chapter!

E.

* * *

**XV - You'll be the death of me**

"Without contraries is noprogression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence."

**- William Blake**

* * *

_**A week later**_

"Do not forget to reduce the Moonstone in powder, Miss. Then you will have to put it in a jar, like the one on your right."

Hermione did not answer, merely taking one of the Moonstones on the table and place it in a bowl, grabbing her wand at the same time. She concentrated, closing her eyes, reciting the spell he had taught her a few days earlier. Although he preferred to use manual techniques, Severus sometimes yielded to ease. A few seconds later, the Moonstone was only a memory, and Hermione ran a hand through the powder that had formed at the bottom of the bowl, translucent as it should be.

A small smile lit up her face, hiding the fatigue that marked her features.

It had been a week since Severus imposed her an infernal pace of work. He even forbade her to return to her parents for the weekend, and she had to send an owl to reassure them about her absence. However, although she worked tirelessly at his side, sometimes sleeping only two hours a night, they exchanged no superfluous word, confining themselves to a _purely professional_ relationship. It was what she had wanted, she couldn't help thinking when the lack of communication with Severus was too much to endure. She had wanted to end the relationship they had, and Severus seemed to be cool with that, showing a coldness and a detachment towards her that reminded her of his attitude at Hogwarts.

Hermione had not hoped that he continued to call her by her first name when she ended their... Friendly relationship. But she still thought that he would remain cordial to her, which was not the case at all. Since then, he overwhelmed her with work, with imposing and unnecessary research, like she was a robot. But she did not complain. From the beginning, she knew that working alongside Severus Snape meant such work, and that proved her right. However, the situation was beginning to be more that she could accept, and she knew it was only a matter of time before she broke.

A glance at him told her he was still focused on the essence of belladonna he carefully poured into a pipette. Hermione frowned slightly, forgetting that he had mentioned the presence of Belladonna in the ingredients he listed. Severus seemed to feel her inquisitive look on him as he whirled toward her, plunging his cold gaze in the young woman's eyes. Hermione did not look away, and continued to fix him before talking.

"I have no recollection of the presence of Belladonna in this potion, Master."

Sometimes, there was a slip of the tongue, and she called him Severus, but he was now happy to correct her, like he didn't like to hear his name in her mouth. Severus turned his attention from the young woman who had just spoken, and resumed the course of what he was doing, as if nothing had happened. Hermione waited a few seconds, but finally realized that he had no intention of answering. So she sighed, and began to pour the powder Moonstone in the jar like he had told her. She took the bowl in her hands, standing up to better support the heavy weight of the stone bowl, but she heard a mumble rise in her back.

"It turns out that Belladonna is necessary to counter the lethal power of the Acromentula Venom."

Hermione rested carefully the bowl on the table, and turned to him. He was still focused on what he was doing, but that did not stop her from talking to him.

"I see," she said. "And have you discovered other ingredients necessary for the realization of this potion?"

She had seen him spent the previous night to scribble incomprehensible things on various parchments, and she did not dare disturb him to ask him where he was in his research. Severus Snape wasn't in a good mood these days, much less when he was lacking of sleep.

"Dragon horn," he murmured, focusing to file a single drop of belladonna on a piece of bark of sob.

Hermione raised a surprised eyebrow.

"It is not easy to find this ingredient, I'm afraid."

"Could I get a little _peace_ here?"

Severus' hand was immobilized. Hermione swallowed hard and bit the inside of her cheek to not say things that she would regret later. She then turned sharply to the powder Moonstone, but in haste, she had a sudden move and dropped the empty jar at her feet, where it broke into a thousand pieces. Hermione stifled a cry of surprise, and stepped back quickly so as not to step on a piece of glass. Severus turned to her, an exasperated expression on the face.

"I expected no less from you, Granger. Clean this mess."

Granger. _Granger_. Hermione froze, hearing again and again the voice of Severus Snape in her head. He had never called her like that from the beginning of their collaboration. _Miss_, of course he did. _Miss Granger _too, on her first day. But she had never heard him call her _Granger_, as if she was an enemy, a person who did not deserve his consideration. Oh, hearing someone else speak to her that way, she could understand. Malfoy for example, she had also learned to call him by his surname.

But Severus Snape was not like that. He exuded a certain class, a certain education and that was the reason why he had a certain consideration for people he respected.

_Granger_.

Hermione turned to him. He wasn't looking at her, and with a flick of her wand, she took away the pieces of the jar that was broken on the floor. Something else also had broken in this room, but she was the only one to know. She walked with a firm step towards the door of the laboratory, not surprising when she felt a hand firmly grab his arm to restrain her.

"Where were you planning to go, Miss?" he hissed through his clenched teeth.

His face was only inches from hers, and Hermione could feel the anger emanating from him. She tried to pull away from his embrace, in vain.

"Well, it's no longer _Granger_ now?" she asked, planting her determined gaze in his.

Severus frowned, obviously not understanding what she was talking about.

"Let me go," Hermione whispered once again, trying to escape from his grasp, which made him more evil.

"You're not going anywhere, we still have a lot of work today."

"We _always_ have a lot of work!" she replied in a loud voice. "We spend our days, our nights to work, seeking improvements to this potion that, I'm sorry, doesn't seem to have a chance to work. I'm killing myself at work since last week, I bow to all your craziest desires, I do all of this because I'm supposed to learn things with you, but this is not what is happening, far from that. I learn nothing from you, I just serve you for the tasks that a child of five could achieve. I'm not... I'm not your house elf!"

Visibly shocked by the violence of her words, Severus released his grip on her arm, and Hermione began to massage it, short of breath.

"I never said that..." Severus began to whisper.

"And I never said that you said that. But you'll be lying if you dare tell me that you don't believe it," she murmured, with a slightly softer voice.

Hermione saw Severus' jaw contract. However, he said nothing, merely keeping his cold and distant gaze on her. She could hardly see his features, immersed in the darkness that reigned in the laboratory. She could not say with certainty that he was furious, but he surely was.

Severus' hand fell down his body, without a sound. Hermione suddenly felt a wave of guilt taking possession of her, although she knew he was the only culprit here.

"Listen... I intend to help you anyway, even if..."

"You are wrong."

Severus' voice interrupted her, and Hermione did not dare to speak, waiting for him to talk.

"You are wrong, _Hermione_," he said softly, and the young woman gently closed her eyes when she heard her name. The intonation he put in his voice when he was saying it was enough to make her lose her means. She always felt that his name was being caressed by his tongue before it crossed the barrier that were his lips. There was so many "roundness" in his voice when he said his name, completely contrasting with the usual inflexibility of his voice.

_Hermione_.

He did not say a word. The young woman was expected him to explain himself. But Severus said nothing more. He just take a step back, still keeping his eyes fixed on her, before returning to his stool.

Hermione did not allow herself to move for a few minutes. Then she turned the handle of the door of the laboratory without a sound. She slipped outside and closed the door softly behind her. He had not retained her, letting her to take the distance she needed. She leaned for many minutes at a heavy wooden door, giving time to her heart to go to a normal rythm.

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

Severus heard her climbing the stairs one by one. He let out a sigh before putting down the pipette of Belladonna he was holding with a trembling hand.

A week. A week in which the presence of the young woman at his side was on the verge of making mad, mad with desire for her. Maybe that it was by masochism that he had wanted to spend as much time with her. He didn't, however, touch her, respecting her desire to put some distance between them.

Hermione's reaction one week before hadn't been a surprise, knowing the righteousness of the young woman. She knew that to be respected, she had to respect herself. How could she do this by leaving a man who loved another caress her body and cover her with kisses?

Hermione was right, he had treated her as less than nothing, taking advantage of her availability as he had done with others before her.

Severus closed his eyes, taking his head in his hands.

"Focus on something joyful, Severus," he murmured, "_focus_."

He wanted to forget it, he wanted to forget the disgust he was feeling towards his own person. And suddenly an image imposed itself in his mind, sharper than the others which had come and gone before his eyes.

She was in profile, sitting on the couch, putting her hands on her crossed legs as she usually did. He saw that her hair was hidding her face, and he expected to see the languid gaze of Lily Potter, her emerald green eyes, when she turned to face him with a smile.

But that was not the case.

He saw instead a pair of brown eyes, sparkling with life, while he was becoming aware of the person who had appeared in his mind.

_Hermione_.


	16. XVI - Run away and I'll follow you

Here I am again...

And I must warn you: this is a... Well, a filler chapter. The next chapter will be better, with a lot of things in it, I promise!

Again, thanks for all you kind words, thanks to the amazing people who take time to send me a review, to my followers, to everybody! I never thought that this story will be so "popular". Keep them coming!

* * *

**XVI - Run away and I'll follow you **

_"Obsession for obsession, the erotic one is better than the ideologic one, it is otherwise serious."_

- **Konrad Zacharias Lorenz**

* * *

_7:00 am_

Ten minutes. Ten minutes had passed since the young woman had activated the shower tap, and since she had probably entered the cabin, closing the door behind her to not wet the marble floor of the bath room. Ten minutes that Severus Snape had kept his eyes open, lying on his bed, his arms tucked under his head. Ten minutes spent listening distractedly the sound of the water dripping on the skin of the young woman, touching her breasts, then her belly, eventually nestle into the crook of her intimacy, where he had buried his face a week earlier.

She had left the day before, taking care to close the door behind her, like a barrier erected between them. Severus had spent the day wondering what was really going on in the mind of the young woman, just like what was happening inside his. Hermione was clear: she had reproached him his coldness towards her, and the amount of pressure and work that he had put on her shoulders. She wanted to return to a friendly relationship with him.

_But could he accept that?_

All night, she had haunted his dreams, just as he had spent most of the day thinking about her. He was relieved to know that the dreams simulator was no longer effective because he couldn't bear her gaze on him after these dreams, all having a bond with her. She had been in all of them, enjoying his caresses on her body, groaning when his mouth was on hers...

And knowing that she was naked a few yards away on the other side of this wall was driving him crazy. He had just one wish, to open the door of the bathroom and to take her against the cold tiles of the shower.

Severus had thought to have control of the situation. He had thought it, thought that it was he who decided the fate of their relationship. But he had been wrong. He had plunged headlong into the trap he had planned for her in the first place. He just wanted her to become attached to him so that she wouldn't be reluctant to help him. And now, it was him who was attached to her.

They would have to leave Spinner's End today. They had to go to an apothecary to get a necessary ingredient for the ritual. Against all odds, the blame the young woman had instilled some kind of doubt in his mind. And if she was right after all? And if the potion was not enough to bring Lily Potter back to life, what would happen? He would have sacrificed the person who mattered the most to him for... Nothing.

Severus quickly sat on the edge of his bed, before getting his head in his hands. _Was it worth it?_ He had found no other way to achieve this result without endangering Hermione, he knew it, but... It was difficult for him to resign himself to do such a thing, even if ultimately he would be reunited with the woman he had loved for nearly thirty years of his life...

"With the woman you _love_, Severus," he corrected in a low voice.

So why the image of Hermione Granger had replaced that of Lily Potter in his thoughts and in his dreams?

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

"Are you ready?"

Hermione nodded, while closing her trench with her belt. She adjusted her sheer scarf, necessary at the end of September, and she followed Severus Snape outside the house, in the garden which was behind the house. She had never been here, and she was surprised to see a few shots of roses on her right. Was Severus Snape a talented gardener?

It was impossible to apparate from inside the house, as it was the case in most homes wizards. Go to someone's house was one thing, but to go in his house without his permission was another, which explained the impossibility.

Hermione felt Severus' gaze landed on her, as he handed him a pleasant hand. She knew what this meant: by giving him her hand, or by simply placing her hand on his arm, she could Apparate with him. Certainly, she could have done it alone, but she did not know the apothecary in which they were supposed to go, since he didn't officiating in Diagon Alley.

The young woman put a shy hand on the arm of her Master, who did not let go of her gaze, and with a _Pop !, t_hey disappeared.

They reappeared in a dark alley despite the fact that the sun had been up for some time, and Hermione restored order in her clothes after ending her physical contact with Severus. The latter was already walking to a store with a tired front window, and she followed him at a rapid pace. They passed the doorstep a few seconds apart, and Hermione refrained herself to not puck: the smells that reigned in the room were unbearable. Severus did not seem as affected as she was, and he went without hesitation to the young woman who was casually leaning on a counter, chewing a gum already several hours old if they relied on the difficulty she had to chew.

"'Ow can I help you 'ere?", she blurted without even a glance for them, preferring to focus on her peeling manicure.

Severus placed his long hands on the counter, and his voice rose into the store, calm and serious.

"I would like to see the owner."

After chewed again her gum, she looked up at Severus, visibly irritated by his request.

"Minute, please."

She disappeared to the back of the store, leaving Severus and Hermione alone. Hermione hadn't talked since their arrival, merely observing the curious young woman. Severus turned to her, reading the surprise that filled her eyes.

"She's a Muggle..." he explained in a low voice. "The owner is also a Muggle, if you want to know everything."

"So how can he..."

Her question remained in her throat as an old man with sinister-looking made his entrance, a smile on his face.

"Severus Snape! What a pleasure to see you!," he said loudly, walking around the counter to shake his hand.

Severus merely gratified him with an embarrassed grin he had the secret, before turning to Hermione.

"Clarence. I'd like to present you Hermione Granger, my assistant."

Clarence, as it seemed to be his name, dropped Severus's hand before heading to Hermione. She gave him a friendly smile as he took her hand in his, but he brought it to his mouth to deposit a kiss on her hand.

"I'm delighted, Miss Granger. Well," he said, turning to Severus, his eyes shining, "you have good taste in your assistant's choice, my dear Severus!"

Severus just pinched his lips, obviously unwilling to talk about his "taste" for women.

"I'm here for a reason, Clarence."

"Just tell me," he replied, resuming his place behind the counter.

Severus pulled out a piece of parchment from his cloak that he slid to the store owner. Hermione saw him frowning his eyebrows while he was reading what was written on parchment, before launching a surprise look to the dark man who was in front of his eyes. A slight smile formed on his lips, and he returned the parchment to Severus.

"I do not know what makes you think that I got... This type of ingredients in stock."

"I've been around most of Apothecaries established in Diagon Alley in the recent weeks," Severus began to whisper, so low that Hermione had come forward to hear what he said. "I certainly didn't need to have this ingredient at the moment, but you know that the apothecaries who officiate there... Are always ready to sell you what you do not need. If they were in possession of such an... Ingredient, there is no doubt that I would have been the first to know, don't you think?"

Severus was leaning slightly on the counter, and he was only a few inches of Clarence. Hermione could not help but admire the technical that Severus was using. He was speaking to Clarence as a predator targets its prey. _Had he used the same technique with her?_

Clarence nodded slowly, and Hermione could see him swallow hard.

"Listen, Severus... You know I should not be in possession of such things... If they knew that..."

"It will not happen," he interrupted him. "How many times have I protected you, Clarence? Don't you trust me?," he added in a silky voice.

"Yes, of course that I do," Clarence replied quickly. "You are one of my most loyal customers, and..."

"And this will continue to be the case if you help me, Clarence," Severus said.

The Apothecary sighed, and went in the back room without a word.

"Where is he?" Hermione asked, intrigued by the scene that had just happened before her eyes.

"He's just searching for the ingredient I need," Severus murmured, without taking his eyes from where Clarence had disappeared.

"And this is...?"

Severus didn't have the time to answer, because Clarence had just returned, holding in his hands a fairly large package, surrounded by several layers of kraft paper. He laid it carefully on the counter, before clearing his throat.

"I'll spare you the usual precautions , Severus..."

- Indeed, I don't need them. How can I pay?" he asked, dragging the package to him.

"80 galleons will do."

Severus raised an eyebrow , but did not flinch. He drew from his pocket a little purse and laid it on the front desk to grab the package.

"Have a nice day, Clarence," he snapped before heading to the exit.

Hermione quickly followed him, with a "goodbye" for the apothecary. When she was out, she was about to ask Severus when the latter held out his hand without a word. With a sigh, Hermione took it before Apparating.

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

"What is it?" Hermione asked as she crossed the door of the back of the house.

Severus closed the door behind them and walked to the laboratory.

"This is the ingredient that we talked about yesterday," he answered her while entering the laboratory.

Hermione frowned. To confess, all she wanted was to forget all memory related to the day she spent with him the day before. To be honest, she even wanted to forget the terrible week that he had inflicted her. But she could not do it.

"Dragon horn," she tried.

Severus nodded as he was dropping the package on the table, carefully tearing the kraft paper around it.

"How a Muggle apothecary could he be in possession of an ingredient whose sale is regulated by the Ministry of Magic?", she asked.

"Clarence is... Particular. For decades, he had focused hisbusiness on selling magic products, and he is pretty good at it," Severus replied with a smile.

"I didn't have bet given the state of his store..."

"Do not be fooled by appearances, Hermione..." he whispered, removing the last kraft paper. "Clarence is very good at what he does, he has managed to build a brilliant network in just a few years. If I can not find an ingredient on Diagon Alley, I know for sure that Clarence Wilmighty possesses it."

Severus shifted slightly to the left, permitting Hermione to see a dragon horn of good size, almost shimmering in the bluish light that rested on it.

"I've already seen a dragon horn, but...," she began, approaching slowly as if she was afraid of scaring it, "this one is beautiful..."

Severus nodded, and his eyes fell on the young woman who had fixed her attention on the dragon horn. She had disciplined her thick hair in a messy bun, and pointed out her eyes with a thin line of kohl. The color of her lips was enhanced by what appeared to be a red raspberry lipstick. Her freshness and youth shone from her general appearance, and it was difficult for Severus to keep his eyes from her.

"Beautiful, indeed...," he murmured.


	17. XVII - All good things come to an End

**XVII. All good things come to an End**

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new."

**- Steve Jobs**

* * *

The Dragon horn was now cut into pieces of equal size. Its brilliance was not in any way diminished, and Hermione was still feeling a certain pleasure to observe it. Severus took one of the pieces in his hands and placed it carefully in a bowl made of indestructible crystal before starting the most meticulous part: it was necessary to reduce the Dragon horn in a powder fine enough to allow it to be mixed with the other ingredients, but it must have some consistency too. He could not use a spell for this task, and had to do it manually. Severus grabbed a drumstick, under the worried eye of Hermione who was standing near the desk where he had placed the bowl, and began his work.

A few minutes later, he stopped, seeming to be satisfied by the consistency of the powder, not too thin nor too thick. He slowly turned to Hermione with a smile on his face. She returned his smile instinctively, and appointed with a head movement the bowl where was now a white powder instead of the piece of Dragon horn.

"Do you got the result that you wanted?" she asked.

"I think so, yes... We will not know until all ingredients are mixed. Also..."

Severus paused, suddenly embarrassed.

"I'm listening..."

"I'll have to take a vial of blood from you," he whispered, staring at her.

She had almost forgotten this detail. Blood. He would have to take the equivalent of a vial of blood from her. Hermione swallowed slowly, not by fear, no. She was not the type to turn the eye when she was confronted with the sight of blood, either her own or someone else, far away from that. But the mere thought of what her blood would serve made her uncomfortable. However, even if she was not sure about the purpose of this potion, she had given her word to him. Then she nodded.

"Of course. Do you want to do it now?" she suggested.

"If that's okay..."

"It is," was her only answer.

Severus then went to get a syringe that was on the table near the door since several days, wrapped in a protective film. Hermione had paid attention to it, but she had preferred to forget its presence until now. But she could not back down now, she thought as her Master approached her, inviting her to sit on one of the stools that were near them. She sat down and took a deep breath as the syringe pierced her skin at the crook of her arm. Severus' gaze met hers while the flask was filled gradually by her blood, but Hermione quickly looked down. A few seconds later, he carefully removed the syringe from her vein, and closed the vial with a tiny precaution.

"Thank you," he said in a whisper while the young woman was putting down the sleeve of her sweater.

"It's nothing..."

A silence fell between them, while Severus rose to refrigerate the vial of blood he had taken from her.

The rest of the day passed smoothly, and Hermione was relieved to see that Severus managed to maintain a friendly relationship with her. It had been a month since the first day they worked together, and she knew this was far from being over. If all went as she thought, she still had eight months to spend with him. After that, she would be free to get on with her life and become a Master too. But it was still far from now, she thought as she continued to take notes on the Acromentula.

At the stroke of 7 o'clock, Severus closed the book he was reading and invited her to do the same.

"I have not focused our research of today on Acromentula for fun, I'm afraid," he began softly. "I know a forest in the north of England where some Acromentulas live, and we must go there."

Hermione nodded slowly. She had feared this moment, and yet, in her heart, a slight excitement began to take place. Obviously, she was far from regretting the time when Harry, Ron and herself wandered from one end of England to the other in search of the famous Horcruxes, but it was more than a year that she hadn't had a crazy adventure like that.

"The Venom of Acromentula," Severus said, "must be taken on a Acromentula recently dead, but you should already know. The forest in which we will have to go is inhabited by these creatures. I guess that there are more than a thousand of them now. A thousand of Acromentulas who live free, that leaves us with a significant chance of seeing a dying or dead specimen, if it has not been eaten by one of its fellows. We will perhaps have to kill one by _ourselves_."

"But it also gives them a chance to kill us _themselves_," Hermione whispered.

Severus closed his eyes for a second before turning his attention to the young woman.

"Indeed, it is an option that we should consider... How well do you know the conterspells to use in case of an attack?"

"I think that spells such as Stupefy or Expelliarmus are useful..."

"You seem to forget..."

Hermione froze, then shook her head sharply.

"I will not use this spell," she whispered.

"You will have to... Maybe," Severus replied silkily.

"If I am forced to do it, I'd use it. But do not expect me to throw an Avada Kedavra at the first Acromentula that comes to me," she said fervently.

"I just wanted to make sure that you will not hesitate to use it if the opportunity presented itself and if your life was in danger. Can I trust you?"

After hesitating for a second, Hermione nodded. Severus stood up, tightening his cloak around his shoulders.

"Perhaps you should put an outfit more... Adequate," he said, pointing to the door.

"Excuse me?"

"We are leaving Spinner's End in a few minutes," was his only response before he disappeared.

Would they have to go in search of the Acromentula's venom _tonight_? The fear soon took the the place of the excitement that she still felt a few minutes ago, and she left the laboratory with a heavy step to move towards her bedroom. She saw the dark figure of Severus sat in his eternal chair when she went up the stairs, and she quickly disappeared in her room, leaning against the door, trying to calm down. She had seen worse, she almost died several times... And yet, to know that she was going to be surrounded by dozens or even hundreds of Acromentules, spiders of several inchs and whose the poison was extremely lethal, terrorized her somewhat.

Fighting the forces of Evil was one thing, but Hermione was never aware of the danger that awaited her before being confronted to it. Of course, she knew that the danger could arise from anywhere, anytime, but she never really knew what to expect. This was not the case right now. Now, she _knew_.

With sightly trembling hands, Hermione went to her closet where she took a sweater she quickly pulled on. She exchanged her boots for more comfortable shoes, and undid her bun to raise her hair in a pony tail. By closing the closet, she saw her reflection in the mirror and took a deep breath before leaving her bedroom.

She had to hold on to the railing when she went down the stairs and came face to face with Severus, who had always his eternal cape on his shoulders. His eyes were bright, brighter than usual and he went to the garden, encouraging her to follow him, without a superfluous word. A few seconds were enough for them to disappear.

**XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

Hermione had to blink a few times to get used to the darkness which reigned around her. She had landed on her knees, and she leaned on the wet ground to get up. A noise of cape was heard near her, and she deduced that she was not the only one to have landed badly.

"Sorry, I did not think that a distance such as this one could cause such a landing when two people Apparate together..." Severus apologized softly, holding out his hand to help her.

She gladly took it and found himself standing in less time than it took to say it. She gave him a shy smile, but she was not sure he could see it in such darkness. She herself had difficulty in distinguishing the features of her former teacher.

"It's okay," she said to reassure him.

"_Lumos_," he murmured in response.

Hermione pulled out her wand from her pocket and did the same. The light emanating from their wands crossed on the floor, revealing a wet ground from the rain that continued to fall in the form of fine droplets. The air was cold in this part of England, and being in the forest at night did not help things. Hermione warmed herself as she could, rubbing her arms.

"The Acromentulas only come out at night," Severus explained when he saw her making this gesture.

"I know, you do not have to justify yourself."

Severus nodded and started to move at a slow pace in the forest, pointing his wand a few inchs away to light his way. Hermione followed him, taking care to make as little noise as possible, trying to focus on the slightest movement that could come from bushes or behind a tree.

They marched for several minutes like that, Severus stopping occasionally in a brutal way, and Hermione trying not to hit him. He stopped again, but this time, Hermione could not avoid the collision. She took her foot in a branch and slumped against Severus' back who turned quickly to stop her fall. The young woman found herself in his arms, his face inches from hers. She could feel his heart beating close to her, feeling his slow and unhurried breathing, completely contrasting with the fast pace of her heart in her chest. Their eyes met, and for a second, Hermione thought that he would bring his face close to hers and kiss her on her lips.

That was probably what he was going to do, but suddenly a muffled sound reached them, from their right. Hermione got up with haste, releasing from Severus' embrace. The latter had recovered quickly, pointing his wand to where the noise was heard.

"Was it...?"Hermione asked, also pointing her wand, clutching.

She thought that she saw Severus nodded, and he walked towards the noise, without a word. Hermione followed him, this time taking care to leave some distance between them. The rustling was heard again, and she squeezed even more her wand in her right hand, on the lookout for any visual sign. She repeated again and again the Disarming Charm in her head, saying that it would be enough against some Acromentulas. But what was she going to do if they were surrounded by dozens of these creatures? She knew the power of Severus Snape, but they could not fight many of these so agile creatures.

"Stay behind me," he whispered while he sank further into the forest.

Suddenly a Acromentule of good size, more than two inchs in any case, rose in front of them, surprising Hermione who did not expect to notice its presence so late.

"Stupefy!" Severus screamed, while the giant spider leapt from several inchs, landed on its back before turning quickly and running from where it came.

Severus cursed, visibly irritated to see it escape when he could finish it and reap its venom. The night would be long...

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

"These creatures mostly camped near a clearing not far from here..."Severus began to whisper. "That one that we met must be a dissident, that partly explains its particular strength. She is accustomed to survive alone."

How could he not notice the presence of a creature so close to two inchs a few minutes earlier? While he waited for Hermione to defend herself if she was attacked, he was in charge of her security, and he had to admit that he was a poor bodyguard.

They were in the heart of the forest now, and he suddenly stopped, turning to the young woman who showed a determined expression.

"If something happens to me tonight..."

"Nothing will happen," she interrupted him, frowning.

"If something happens to me," he continued without worrying about what she just said, "you have to directly Apparate to Spinner's End, and not tell anyone what we were about to do. Do not talk about me or my presence in this forest. Is that clear?"

Against her will, Hermione nodded, and Severus smiled at her before turning back to the danger that awaited them.

Behind the thick bushes that were partially obstructing their view, were a dozen of Acromentulas, some hanging on the webs they had woven between the trees, others lying on the ground, not moving a lot. Hermione swallowed hard, and strove to breathe as quietly as possible. Severus gave her a look, telling her to get closer to him, which she did . But as she was doing so, she walked on a branch that creaked under her weight. She stopped immediately, launching a terror-filled look to Severus who raised his right hand, making her understand to not move.

On the other side of the bushes, the Acromentulas had darted their eyes, black as Death, to where they were, and were dangerously advancing towards them.

They had no chance, they both knew it. Severus began to think quickly to the options available to them. They could Apparate to Spinner's End, but they would return empty-handed and should start their perilous adventure again. They could also try to escape and see how far they would go, or they could fight these creatures. In this configuration, it was the Acromentulas which were surrounded by them, and not _vice versa_. Certainly, there were only two, but they could perhaps...

"Prepare yourself," he whispered to Hermione who nodded, holding her wand between her clenched fingers.

The Acromentulas were only a few meters away, and Severus was sure that they could see them. Then he stood up and pointed his wand at them.

"_Stupefy!_"

"_Expelliarmus_!"

Spells were flying at the speed of lightning, and one, two, three Acromentulas found themselves on the back, sounded by the curses that had just been launched at them.

"_Avada Kedavra_!"

Hermione turned quickly to the green glow that had sprung from Severus' wand, ending the days of the Acromentula that was dangerously approaching him. Distracted, she paid no attention to the spider that was moving quickly towards her, and planted in the space of a split second its claws where her skin was not protected by the fabric : her neck.

The young woman groaned in pain as Severus launched a Killing Curse to the creature that just bite her. Hermione vaguely heard another Avada Kedavra spring from his wand, but her ears began to buzz terribly. A thick veil passed in front of her eyes, and she instinctively brought her hand to her neck, coming into contact with blood, so much blood...

Another moan crossed her lips, and she suddenly felt two arms lift her.

Where was she? Her head was spinning, her whole body seemed to be spent in a washing machine, and she did not even have the strength to fight this awful feeling. Her back eventually hitting a hard surface, a cold one, and she was finally able to open her eyes. In front of her, there was a familiar face, framed by deep black hair...

"Severus..."

Her voice was low, so low... She blinked rapidly, trying to maintain eye contact with the man who seemed desperate. But... Why was he crying? Hermione felt his tears fall on her face as he shook her hand between his own hands. Why was he crying when she was experiencing a feeling of fullness she had never known before?

"Hermione, _Hermione_, no, please, stay with me..."

Severus's voice came to her, and she tried to hang on to it. But it felt so good... Certainly, there was this pain, excruciating at her neck, but her soul, she... She never felt so serene.

_Was she dying?_ Do we feel this stuff when our time had come, when the breath of life was escaping our body and we could not catch it? Had Tonks and Remus felt this sensation too? Had Fred also felt it?

Hermione closed her eyes to enjoy the best of this sensation, but when she tried to open them again, she didn't succeed.

Everything was black around her. Black. **Everything was black.**

* * *

**The END?**

Mmh, the end of the first part of this story, yes. The second part will be... Different, and - I hope - better.

Don't hesitate to tell me what you think of this chapter! I really liked to write it to be honest. :)

See you soon!


	18. XVIII - How to bring You back to Life?

PS: this chapter is for **Hannoie**, the 2 POV Princess!

* * *

**XVIII. How to bring you back to life?**

"There is no person that love cannot heal ; there is no soul that love cannot save."

-** Carlos Santana**

* * *

- _Avada Kedavra_!

Severus was no longer surrounded by Acromentulas, and took the opportunity to put an end to the life of the one that was at his feet, relieved to see that they had finally took little time to accomplish their task.

As he approached the creature that had expired its last breath, he heard a scream coming from his right and turned quickly, fast enough to see the last Acromentula alive. It was standing over Hermione who had collapsed on the ground, as a rag doll.

- _Avada Kedavra_!

The giant spider slid on the floor, its legs no longer supporting the weight of its dead body.

"Hermione..." he muttered as he ran towards the young woman who seemed to slowly sink into unconsciousness. She put a hand to her neck, allowing Severus to see where she was attacked, and when she dropped her arm to her side , Severus could see that her hand was sticky with blood. He could not stand by and do nothing.

Severus gently took Hermione in his arms as she moaned in pain, with half-closed eyes. To Apparate was not the best solution, but he could not do anything else in the middle of the forest. And he could try to save her once in possession of the necessary ingredients... This was not the case where they were.

He pressed her a little harder against his chest before rising.

"Spinner's End," he said in a loud voice.

A few seconds later, they were at the back of the house, and Severus placed the cold body of the young woman on the soggy ground to ensure that she had not been dislocated during the trip. He observed her body for a few seconds before turning his attention to her face. Her eyes were fixed on him, but he was not sure that she was seeing him, even less recognizing him. Suddenly, a murmur was heard, and Severus had to bring her close to him to understand what she was trying to tell him.

"Severus..."

Hermione's voice was broken by the pain radiating from her neck, and Severus took her right hand in his, instinctively covering it with kisses.

"Hermione, _Hermione_, no, stay with me..." he murmured as she was about to close her eyes.

None of this would have happened if he had not brought her in this crazy adventure with him, he knew it. She would not be there, soaked, lying on the cold ground, _dying_... She would be in her bedroom, surely busy to reread the notes she would have take about a potion or something like that. And this was not the case.

Hermione let out another groan, and then... Nothing. Severus took her in his arms, heavily shaking her, as if he was trying to infuse a second breath in her, but Hermione did not respond to his requests.

"Hermione, I beg you, stay with me...", he said softly as he tried to take her pulse in her neck, where it was not bleeding.

It was there, it was present. Low, yes, but he could feel the little intermittent pulsation indicating she was still alive. _But for how long?_

Quickly, Severus opened the back door of the house before taking Hermione in his arms, leading her to his own room.

"Artie!" he shouted as he climbed the stairs two by two, however taking care not to shake too much the body that was in his arms.

Once in his room, he gently placed her on his bed, ensuring that her neck was well supported by the pillow. Hermione did not move, and the artificial light that pervaded his room made him realize her unsettling paleness.

While Severus revealed a sheet that he disposed on the body of the young woman, the house elf appeared on the doorstep, visibly surprised to be called into the room of her Master. Generally, Severus did use her services only for dinner.

"Artie is there, Master," she said softly.

Severus turned to her, a look of despair on his face.

"Bring me a bowl of boiling water, quickly."

Artie vanished for a few seconds, and quickly reappeared with what her master had asked.

Severus conjured a towel and dipped it in the boiling liquid before passing it gently on the face of the young woman, cleaning from time to time the wound that had stopped bleeding. She had no reaction, and Severus was reviewing all the ingredients he had and that could use to make her regain consciousness. But nothing came to mind except the Wiggenweld potion, which, unfortunately, was only useful against the Draught of Living Death.

How to counter the Acromentula venom? That was the question he still kept asking himself over and over again, looking for an answer that was slow in coming. He put two fingers on the neck of the young woman, and he noticed that her pulse weakened gradually as time passed.

_How?_

Artie was still at his side, and watched anxiously Hermione who still did not move. At her bedside, Severus Snape seemed to be lost in thought, and she could almost feel the distress he felt at that very moment. Suddenly, Severus stood up, dropping the towel with which he was warming Hermione a few seconds ago. He turned toward the house elf, before heading towards the door.

"Artie, watch Hermione, do not leave her for a second. Continue putting the towel on her head... I will be back soon... _I hope so_."

With these words, Severus ran down the stairs to be out of the house. He disappeared into a _Pop!_, while the rain was intensifying.

**XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxX**

The front door of the store increasingly vibrated under the incessant blows of the person who was behind it. Clarence rose with difficulty from his bed, exhausted by the noise coming from the ground floor. It had been more than ten years he lived above the shop, since the death of his wife precisely. He could not stand the loneliness that prevailed in their home when he came home every night and had decided to sell the home they had shared for over twenty years to live here.

He was not complaining, far from it. It was good in the morning to not have to hurry, knowing that he was only a few inches from his workplace. He had only to walk down the stairs in order to work. But sometimes, to live so close of his own shop brought disadvantages, and that was the case that night. Some customers wasn't paying attention to the fact that it was so late in the night, and sometimes knocked to his door while Clarence was already in his bed, dreaming of beaches and holidays...

Clarence grumbled in his short beard as he tightened the belt of her robe on her tummy while walking down the stairs with a heavy and slow pace.

"One minute," he cried to calm somewhat the person who continued to harp on his door. "Be quiet, now, there is no loss of life!"

But whoever was on the other side of the door seemed to think that there was someone dying, on the contrary. Clarence unlocked the front door, taking care to remove the three bolts that helped to protect his shop, and opened the door slightly. He narrowed his eyes slightly to see who it was. Clarence Wilmighty suffered since several years of presbyopia, but he had never thought that it was necessary to wear glasses.

"Sev..."he just had the time to say, before the door of his shop was fully open and the man in question entered in it such as a tornado.

"Clarence, I do not have much time, and I need your help," Severus quickly said, planting his eyes in the terrorized look of Clarence.

Clarence quickly closed the door behind him before turning his attention to the tempered man who had just burst into his home.

"What... What is happening? I never had a problem with the Dragon horns, I swear, I..."

"It is not that," Severus swept with a wave of hand, visibly exasperated at the idea of wasting time. "I need urgently a cure, Clarence, a remedy against the Acromentula's venom."

Clarence froze for a few seconds before the tempestuous voice of Severus brought him on Earth.

"_Clarence!_"

Suddenly awake, he ran a hand over his forehead, looking for any remedy against the venom.

"Severus... I do not have this kind of stuff in store. You know how much Acromentula's venom is rare and _expensive_, let's not say about the antidote... It it even exists, of course," he quickly added.

Severus approached him, menacingly.

"Do not think for one second that I will go with this lie, Clarence. I know what happened to your wife ten years ago, and I'm terribly sorry about it. But this is not because it did not work then that it will not work now..."

Clarence's heart skipped a beat, and he swallowed hard. How could Severus Snape know...? The memories came back in his head. His wife, Theresa, a brilliant witch who had initiated him to the magic ingredients, was also bitten by an Acromentula during one of her missions for the Auror office where she had officiated for many years. But this mission had been fatal to her, and the colleagues who had returned with her didn't know about the antidote he himself had concocted almost five years ago against the bites of dangerous magical creatures, anxious to protect his wife against the risks related to her profession.

This not only served antidote against Acromentulas' bites, to his surprise. When Theresa had been back from a mission four months before her last day, bitten by a Doxy while investigating the house of a Death Eater, this antidote had been useful. This was also the case when she had been attacked by a dragon, three years from that day. Clarence was convinced that this was an universal antidote, that it worked against different types of venom.

He had concocted it using a small amount of every venom of every venomous creature that Theresa had met during her long career, and that he had mixed in a single potion. He had kept it for himself, using it only for his wife, who sometimes encouraged to commercialize his discovery. But he never gave in to her request.

For many years, Clarence had not found the adequate name for this potion. He had thought of "the All-healing" or the "Universal Potion", and some others... But nothing sounded good to his ear. However, with the death of his wife, the potion had won a name for itself. He had therefore called it the "Theresa Potion". Unfortunately, he had been aware of the Acromentula's attack too late. His wife had already begun to freeze, her pulse was not present, she had become cold, as cold as Death itself. Giving her the potion had been for nothing, and since that day, Clarence was keeping a small vial of the potion he had taken so long to develop, in memory of his lost love.

He plunged his eyes misted with tears at the memory of his wife in Severus' gaze, and he could read the same expression he had when he learned that Theresa was dying. Helplessness, anger, distress... But also hope, the hope that somewhere, there was something that could save the person in danger.

"Wait for me here," he whispered, running into his room.

Severus did not move, but he was dying to follow him and ask him if he was willing to help or not. Clarence went down less than a minute later, holding a bottle in his right hand. Before giving it to Severus who was getting impatient, he wanted to tell him a few words.

"Severus, you must know how to use this antidote first. There is not a trivial potion, and..."

"Come with me," Severus interrupted him with an imploring voice.

"Excuse me?"

"You know this potion better than anyone, Clarence , then come with me. I do not have much time, and ..."

His voice broke, and Clarence saw a side of Severus Snape that few people had the opportunity to see. He finally seemed human, a human who was very likely carying a burden too heavy for his shoulders. Clarence sighed and nodded.

"Be aware that I'm not good at Apparating..."

**XxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxX**

"How is she?" Severus asked Artie when the two men entered the room where Hermione lay.

She seemed paler than when he had left, and he hastened to kneel beside her to take her hand in his.

"Her pulse is becoming weaker, Master," Artie whispered, while continuing to move the towel soaked in hot water on the face of the young woman.

"I know, I know..." Severus replied before turning his attention to Clarence, who had remained at the foot of the bed, watching Hermione. "Clarence, if you please..."

The old man walked up to Severus, prompting him to leave his place at the bedside of the young woman.

"Can you bring me a clean vial, and an extract of Flobberworm mucus - a small amount will suffice - Severus? Oh, and do not forget a pipette, it will facilitate the absorption of the potion by this young lady."

Severus walked swiftly to his laboratory, and came back near them while Clarence had just released the vial he had slipped into his pocket, carefully removing the sealed cap that served to protect the potion. He quickly took the vial from Severus, putting a few drops of the remedy into it, then diluted itwith a small amount of Flobberworm mucus.

"This will slightly dilute the potion and bind the ingredients together. It's been years that I have this vial, and I'd make sure of its effectiveness. Swallow this potion is one thing, but swallow various different and unconnected venoms, is another," he murmured, sucking the brownish liquid with the pipette.

Clarence eventually stood up with difficulty, and gave the pipette to Severus who took it with precaution.

"What should I do?" he asked.

"Insert the pipette in her mouth, and be sure that she swallows all of its contents. Sh will most probably have a reflex of rejection, but you must ensure that she swallows the whole potion. I diluted four drops of the remedy, it should do the trick. _Save her, Severus_," he finished in a whisper.

The Potions Master once again approached the bed where Hermione Granger was, the woman who changed his vision of the world in the space of a month. He was attached to her, he thought as he straightened her on the bed, and gently opened her mouth to slip the pipette in it. He was attached to her as he never had been attached to someone after Lily Potter's death. She had introduced him to the delights of love, had made it clear that this time could be even more enjoyable when shared with the person you really desired... And loved. Suddenly, the whole idea of sacrifice was no more. How could he?, he said to himself as he gently pressed the pipette so that she could drink the cure. How could he endanger her life when the simple fact of seeing her on his bed, so close from Death, was driving him crazy?

He pressed the pipette several times, ensuring that she didn't reject the antidote, and laid her back on the bed. He put a caring hand on her neck, looking for her pulse, and was surprised to see that it did not improve. Instead, it seemed even weaker than a few minutes before.

"Do not expect immediate results, Severus," Clarence said. "It will take time, some minutes or even hours for what I know. It took almost a day before Theresa regained consciousness after being bitten by a dragon, there are fifteen years ago. Be patient, Severus."

Severus kept his eyes on Hermione, and nodded.

Thus began the longest waiting of his life.

* * *

Will she wake up? Did you like Clarence story?

I was thrilled by your reviews, as always, and I'm happy to see that you didn't expect that! :)

This story got more than 100 reviews, damn, that is also something unexpected. Thanks to all of you!

See you soon!


	19. XIX - Being in the Limbo

**XIX. Being in the Limbo**

"Sometimes, limbo is a tolerable place to be stuck"

**- William Boyd**

* * *

Everything was black. Black. **Everything was black.**

"Hermione?"

A voice came from her left, a clear and yet strong voice.

"Can you hear me?"

_Yes, I can_... But the words would not come out of her mouth, and she began to feel oppressed by the feeling that was less and less pleasant now. The feeling of being cut off from the world, to be alone in a place that was probably unknown to her, even if she wasn't able to see it.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, a slight pressure on it, and her brow furrowed instinctively. Some relief invaded her whole body: she managed to move somehow. She wasn't paralized.

"I think that she can't wake up, Remus."

Remus? How was it possible...?

"I'm afraid that she can't. Should we wait much longer before waking her? It's been several days since she's here."

"The time is not the same here, you know it very well. For what we know, she may just be asleep for a few minutes _there_."

Tonks' voice had been a whisper when she mentioned this place that did not seem to be paradise, judging the tone she had taken.

"I never thought she would be with us so soon" said Tonks, softly.

An awkward silence seemed to settle between the two people who were close to her. A silence that was broken by the arrival of a third person.

"Who have we today? I hope that it is a former Death Eater, it's been ages since I don't see one of them!"

Hermione had to call her memories to remember who owned that voice, serious and funny in the same time, slightly aristocratic.

_Sirius Black_.

A third hand eventually landed on her shoulder.

"What has happened?" he murmured.

"We don't know, Sirius. She still has not woken up..."

"This is a good sign, Nymphadora, a very good sign."

"Sirius Black! How many times should I tell you not to call me by that name? This is not because I do not have the chance to hex you that you can..."

"Shut up, you two," Remus Lupin interrupted.

Hermione had opened her eyes. Strangely, she had not opened them gradually, no. She had opened her eyes in a single movement, as if she had just remembered an important event, as if she had just remembered something she had to do but she had forgotten.

Instantly, three faces leaned toward her, and she realized the coldness of the ground on which she was lying. With difficulty and in silence, she began to get into a sitting position, and Remus and Sirius helped her to do so. None of the three people who were in the room - which seemed immense as she could see - said a word, as not to rush her.

For long seconds, Hermione just stared at them. They had not changed. They were exactly like the last day she spent with them. Sirius Black still had his hair reaching to her shoulders, but the malice that lit his eyes before was gone. At his side, Remus Lupin had always that hint of kindness that emanated from his person. On the other hand, Nymphadora Tonks' hair had taken a pink shade, of the most beautiful effect.

Hermione put a distracted hand where she had been bitten a few minutes - or was it a few hours? - before. The wound had dried, and her fingers came in contact with some slightly clotted blood. She made a face that spoke for itself about the reddish texture that was now on her fingers.

"We didn't have that problem, thanks Merlin," Sirius said, a sad smile on his lips.

Hermione planted his eyes in his, and dropped her hand along her body. What should she do? Return him his smile? Reply that he was very lucky indeed for having a so peaceful death?

It was impossible. She felt tears in her eyes, and did everything in her power to stop it. She was a Gryffindor, wasn't she? She had to do honor to this house who had received her eight years ago, this house which had given her values such as loyalty but also courage. Severus had been wrong a month ago during her first day at his side: the courage of Gryffindor was not a legend.

Her gaze made the round trip between the three former members of the Order who were around her, and she felt the hand of Tonks squeezed a little harder on her wrist.

The young woman had not uttered a word since she had opened her eyes, and she was still trying to find the right words, those who would trigger an immediate response and not an endless procrastination that would not tell her what she wanted to know.

She slightly opened her mouth before close almost instantly. Neither Sirius nor Remus nor Tonks urged her, they were just staring at her, merely waiting for the right moment, when she would be ready to come to them and not vice versa.

That moment came a few long minutes later, while the first tear had left the right eye of Hermione.

"Am I... _Am I dead?_" she asked, her voice cracking.

**XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX**

"She will not wake up so quickly, Severus. I think you should rest, it's late..."

Clarence had just entered the room where the body of Hermione, on which Severus was watching for many hours, was still resting. From experience, he knew that we did not wake up so easily after being poisoned by a venomous creature such as an Acromentula. When Theresa was poisoned by a Doxy, awakening took her a little over than two hours. But it was _just_ a Doxy, not a creature whose venom was as lethal as that of the giant spider.

He unfortunately hadn't had the opportunity to realize the speed of cure on the Acromentula's venom. But he doubted that the process would take less than a half day. At least.

He had wandered on the ground floor of the house of Severus Snape for long hours. The latter had not moved from the bedside of the young woman, and had sent Artie, as it seemed to be its name, to take care of him. The house elf had prepared tea, offering to accompany his drink with some cupcakes, which he refused, pointing to his belly with a chuckle that the elf had not shared. Theresa had never wanted to have an house elf, leaving her elf with her sister, which had slightly annoyed Clarence at the time. This typical witch oddity intrigued him at the highest point, and he always wanted to have a little elf in their house.

Clarence had come up the stairs that led to the room of the man he vaguely knew for several years, and was surprised to see him in the same position as that in which he had left him several hours earlier.

Severus turned his head slowly, still keeping Hermione's hand in his. His eyes were red from fatigue, but Clarence knew that he would never confess.

"I prefer to stay with her..." he said quietly, as not to wake Hermione. "Not that I do not trust you, Clarence, far from it , but you've never been able to test this remedy against the Acromentula's venom, and I..."

"I understand you, Severus," he interrupted so as not to have to endure again those memories that he always had in mind whenever the conversation took this direction.

"Just ask Artie, she will prepare a room for you tonight. I am indeed not able to apparate with you in these conditions, I'm sorry about it..."

Clarence nodded in assent, and prepared to leave the room, leaving Severus returned his attention to the extremely pale woman lying in this huge bed. However, before leaving the room, he let out a little sigh, and Severus gave him a sidelong glance, his right eyebrow raised.

"You seem to care about this young lady, Severus."

The latter paused a moment before nodding.

"I care about her," he murmured, more to himself than to the old man.

Clarence smiled slightly before leaving the room for good.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

Tonks gave an embarrassed glance at her husband, but neither had the courage to answer the question she had asked. Sirius, meanwhile, rose swiftly, pacing in the huge white room. Hermione looked down, realizing that their silence was a form of acquiescence.

"I am..." she whispered.

"To tell you the truth, Hermione, I'm not really sure", Sirius said, turning to her.

Remus also sore, throwing a surprised look to his old friend.

"What are you talking about? I mean... I do not mind you trying to spare her, but you can't give her hope like that, Sirius."

"I would not say this if I did not think so. Look at her, my friend. Look at her."

The two former Marauders turned their attention to her, as the Metamorph. They stared at her as if it were the first time they saw her, and Hermione saw Remus frowned.

"She's not like the others..." he murmured. "How is this possible?"

She didn't understand what was happening to her. What were they talking about? What was different? Different from who elsewhere?

"This has never happened before", Tonks added, nodding.

"How do I know if...?"

"What are you talking about?" Hermione interrupted them by standing on her feet.

Sirius sat down on a chair - she could have sworn that there was not one a second before. With a worried look on his face, he brought his hands under his chin and sighed.

"This is not a simple thing to explain, far from it. Well... Yes, Hermione, you're in another world. To explain it simply, because I doubt we have a lot of time to do so, your mind is stuck here for a reason unknown to me, but your body, it is still alive. How to tell you that... It's almost as if your person was split in two: one part is alive, your physical body, somewhere on Earth, but your soul is among us. How is this possible? I do not know," he confessed squinting.

"What I do know is that you're not like most people who have gone through this hall. Your "body", or rather the physical shell that surrounds your soul so that we can recognize you, is not like them. You see that your arm is visible only intermittently for example?'

Instinctively, Hermione brought her arm up to her eyes, and saw that it actually disappeared sporadically, as a poorly calibrated monitor.

"How is this possible, Sirius?" Remus asked. "I have never seen such a thing, either you die or you are alive. You can not be between two worlds..."

"I don't know, I don't know..." he replied with a sigh. What were your last moments, Hermione?"

"I was bitten by an Acromentula."

"Not the most pleasant death, sorry Hermione," Sirius smirked. "Acromentula's venom, so... To my knowledge, there is no remedy against the Acromentula's venom. This makes it an even more intriguing story."

"I know that the Acromentula's venom knows no cure," Hermione whispered, holding her tears. "So why am I not really dead?"

"I do not have the answer to this question, I'm sorry..."

Hermione nodded slowly, heading towards one of the other chairs that had appeared beside her.

"What then?"

"We have to wait," Remus said. "Wait until one or other of the solutions happens..."

"Death or life,' Hermione completed under the scrutiny look of her former teacher.

They all nodded.

**XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX**

Some time had passed, and Hermione was now aware of the situation in which she found herself. Between life and death, in a place that looked more to death if she only referred to those people in front of her.

"Where is Fred?" she finally ask them.

"Mr Weasley," Tonks began with a laugh, "prefers to be alone. Do not be surprised if you fall in one of his traps he still loves so much. He misses George. He misses everyone."

"So do you. Teddy..."

"We see him from where we are, Hermione. We see that his godfather visits him whenever he can and that a brilliant woman watches over him," Remus replied, a slight smile on his face.

"And you see other people who are dead for some time?"

Indeed, a certain person haunted her mind since she had figured out where she was.

"Almost everyone, yes," said Sirius. "Some are not the people we want to see, but somehow, it is good to see that there is some justice in this world."

"Have you seen Harry's parents?", she murmured.

"Obviously. They are doing well. Having seen Harry last year in the Forbidden Forest is very surely for something about it. They are finally in peace where they are."

Hermione nodded, and never returned to the subject. Knowing that Lily did not feel the need to come back relieved her in a way, without really knowing why. As they walked to another hallway as immaculate as that one they had left, Tonks put a worried hand on Hermione's arm. But when she expected to come into contact with something tangible, her hand went through her arm as if there were no obstacle.

"Hermione, you're disappearing...", she whispered.

The young woman raised her left arm, then the right, but she saw nothing. She was disappearing.

"What's going on there?" she let escape.

"You're leaving us, pet," Sirius replied with a smile. "There seems to be someone on Earth who fights for you, and in a very beautiful way, I must admit."

She was about to answer, to ask him how was it possible since there was no cure to this venom, but it was as if someone had put a gag on her mouth. In a split second, she was thrown back, before disappearing.

**XxxxxxxxXxxxxxX**

He had fallen asleep from fatigue. When he opened his eyes, Severus could see a timid ray of sunshine through the opaque window of his room. The sun seemed to have lifted for several hours.

He stretched himself while not leaving his eyes from Hermione. He put two fingers on her neck, and was reassured to see that her pulse was improving slowly but surely.

Having slept for a few hours at her bedside was more exhausting than relaxing, and Severus said that some water on his face would do him good. With some reluctance to leave her alone, he dropped her hand and walked to the bathroom adjacent to his bedroom.

But as he was about to pass the door, he froze at the sound of her voice.

"_Severus_..."

* * *

Annnnd, end of this chapter! Written in a train between Paris and Normandy, when I was supposed to write it tomorrow. But oh well, I was inspired.

I have to say that I was a little disappointed with the few reviews that I got for the last two chapters when I got like 500 visitors a day. Not that I want to break some records or something, but it's great **to know what you think** of this story. You can write a review or send me a private message, I really don't care since the most important is to share with you! :)

I was happy to see that you liked Clarence's story for example (thanks to Ante162, Bluefirefly and Miss Drama aka anotherOUATwriter (:D) for letting me know!), and that encouraged me to write a little more about him. I hope that you don't mind. :D

Thanks to everyone who still read that story! You make a writer happy. :)


	20. XX - Problem Solved

Hi, folks!

Here's the chapter 20 of The Assistant.

I want to thank **Bluefirefly5** for her amazing work. It was quite a hard job to Beta this chapter, I know, and she spent several hours to help me with the sentences' structure, the grammar and everything. Thank you so much to help me improving this story and my English!

Another thank you to **anotherOUATwriter** who gave me some infos about PTSD that I will use well in the upcoming chapters. :)

And thank to all of you who read this story, follow it, review it, like it. It means a lot to me. :)

If you like the Snamione fics, I'm currently working on another fanfiction involving them: **Becoming One**. So don't hesitate to check it!

* * *

**XX. Problem Solved**

"All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem."

- **Martin Luther King, Jr**

* * *

"_Severus..._"

Her voice. Even though her voice was weak, almost inaudible, Severus thought that it filled the whole room. He didn't dare turning around immediately, taking his time to close his eyes before turning, to make sure that it wasn't a dream; only then did he slowly turn around to face her. Hermione seemed to be lost, her gaze going from the door to her hands, until her eyes meet his. For the first time since the beginning of their collaboration, Severus was unable to read her emotions in her eyes, unable to understand what she was thinking about. She just stared at him like she was waiting for an answer that never came.

Half a day had passed since the tragic moment when she had closed her eyes while he was returning to Spinner's End with her weak body in his arms. Twelve hours, during which he had thought that he had lost her forever, during which he had thought about all the mistakes that he had made, and all the impossible desires that he had fed during these past long months. He also spent a lot of time staring at her, admiring her features, her beauty, her innocence. Severus had just understood that she was his weakness. Unfortunately, she had to almost die to make him realize that.

"You brought me here..." she managed to say in a groan.

Her eyes were still on him, and Severus didn't move. And yet he was dying to come next to her, to cover her face with kisses, to devour her mouth with kisses... To kiss her whole body. Yes, he had brought her back. He had searched the depths of his mind for a solution to prevent her death, a death that he couldn't let happening like that, not now. He had thought about Clarence; Clarence who had finally saved Hermione, the woman that was so important to Severus, instead of having been able to save his own wife.

During several years Severus had heard about this potion, never knowing if it worked. At the time, he had thought it was only gossip, and yet... obviously, it wasn't.

Seeing that he still hesitated to approach her, Hermione tried to sit in this huge unknown bed but her arms gave way under her weight, and she fell back against the pillows supporting her head. It was then that Severus decided to approach the bed and knelt beside her. The chestnut eyes of the young woman met his dark gaze, and she gave him a slight smile. A tear fell on her pillow but she did not bother wiping it.

"I thought... I was sure that..."

Her voice broke, and she was unable to say another word. Slowly and somewhat awkwardly, Severus grabbed one of her hands and pressed a lingering kiss on her fingers. Surprised, Hermione didn't withdraw her hand and remained silent.

"I thought that I lost you forever..." Severus whispered his mouth still against her hand.

Hermione squeezed his hand lightly in reply.

It can be bewildering to see the change that an event such as the near-death experience of a loved one can create in some people, causing them to realize just how much that person really meant to them, and Severus Snape had just lived through this experience. He had never felt such strong feelings for anybody but Lily Evans, who had given a meaning to his teenage years. Sure, he had repeatedly tried to save Harry Potter's life, the son of the woman he had loved for many years, but this was only because of his commitment toward the mother of the boy, nothing more. During his forty years of life, never had Severus Snape wanted to save someone's life as badly as he had wanted to save Hermione's. He had been acquainted with her for the past eight years, but he had only got to really know her during the past month. A month during which he had gotten attached to her, a month during which he had developed feelings he hadn't allowed himself to feel for a long time. A month during which they had done everything backward, prioritizing their physical cravings over their emotional needs.

Severus didn't dare to think that his feelings were mutual, not after the wall she had built between them a week earlier. She had been right to do so of course. However, this experience had made Severus understand that he didn't desire her only sexually.

_He needed her in his life._

Hermione tried to move again, which indicated that she wanted to get up. Gently, Severus put his hand behind her back and helped her up, making sure that she was resting her back against the pillows behind her. She tried to swallow with difficulty and Severus immediately called Artie, who returned with a glass of water that she drank quickly.

"Slowly..." Severus told her.

When she had finished, he took back her half-empty glass and put it on the bedside, before giving her once again his attention. She was staring at an empty space, obviously lost in her own thoughts. He took her hand in his.

"How do you feel?"

"Well, fine I guess... I'm just surprised to be here with you, after what happened in the forest...," she said in a hoarse voice.

"What do you remember?" he asked.

"I remember that ten Acromentulas were coming toward us," she began, whispering. "I remember your Avada Kedavra which diverted my attention from the one that was close to me. I remember... Everything was suddenly dark, and I couldn't wake up. This lasted several minutes or several hours, I don't know. And then...'

Hermione paused, and quickly closed her eyes as if she was trying to remember.

"Do you remember something else?"

"Sirius, Remus and Tonks..." Hermione replied, opening her eyes and looking at him. "I saw them. I spoke with them. I was somewhere else, Severus. I thought I was dead," she said in a whisper.

Severus narrowed his eyes, trying to make sense of what she was telling him.

"How is it possible?"

"I don't know," she replied, shrugging slightly. "They were here around me when I wasn't awake yet. None of them could find a valid reason for my presence where they were. I was different from the others who were there, it was as if something was missing for me to make me an integral part of their world."

"These are the only people you have had the opportunity to see?"

Severus' voice was urgent, and Hermione then remembered Lily. Obviously, she said to herself, he wanted to know if she had seen the woman he loved.

"Yes, I just saw them."

A silence fell between them, while Severus continued absently stroking her hand.

"The main thing is that you are alive," he muttered before getting up. "You must be starving, I'm going down to see Artie and Clarence. I will not be long."

"Clarence?" Hermione asked.

"He is the one who saved you, Hermione. But we'll talk later. Do not move."

**XxX**

Hermione found herself alone, and awkwardly took the glass that Severus had placed on the nightstand. She took a few sips of water, before lowering her hands on the duvet, keeping her hold on the glass. Another glance around her told her that she was not in her room, but most probably in Severus' bedroom. There was almost no furniture, except the bed, a nightstand and an almost-broken dresser that seemed rather empty.

She was alive.

She breathed deeply, as if to ensure that this was not a dream, and threw a quick look at her forearms. She was real, she was there.

Severus' attitude toward her disturbed her somewhat. They had parted on good terms, yes, but certainly on not good enough terms for him to cover her hand with kisses as if it was the most natural thing in the world. She had made it clear that she didn't want to go further with him, that she wouldn't agree to let her body at his disposal in these circumstances, despite the pleasurable moment they shared two weeks earlier.

So why was he acting like that?

Hermione slowly moved her legs, and was not surprised to feel the numbness that had taken hold of her body; she felt like her whole body had been crushed. Tired of remaining sitting, she swung her legs to the left, resting her hands on the bed to help her getting up. She felt slightly dizzy and lightly touched her forehead, as if doing so would help her to recover her balance. Hermione realized that she still had on the same clothes that she had on the night before, but they were dry now. Severus must have used a spell so she didn't get cold.

Unsteadily, Hermione walked to the bedroom door and went to the stairs leading to the lounge. She didn't want to be treated like a sick person, let alone be treate like a child. If she had to eat something, she would do so in the dining room. When her bare feet met the cold floor of the living room, which contrasted greatly with the wooden floor of the stairs, Artie ran toward her.

"Miss! You must rest! Master Snape will not be happy with Artie if he sees you here," she said in a frightened voice.

"Everything's alright Artie, I feel much better now," she managed to say before a new vertigo forced her to close her eyes and to hold onto the railing of the stairs.

"No, you must get back to your bed, please. Artie will accompany you..."

"What are you doing here? I do not remember allowing you to leave the bedroom," Severus Snape thundered as he walked firmly toward her.

He took her harshly by the arm, climbing up the steps two at a time, before she let out a moan.

"Wait a minute..." she whispered, stopping in the middle of the stairs.

Small white dots began to multiply before her eyes, and she felt the urge to rest. Silently, Severus wrapped his arms behind her back and her legs, lifting her effortlessly.

"I told you not to get up," he whispered into her ear while she rested her head against his shoulder, her eyes closed.

He placed her carefully on the bed, running a hand over her forehead to make sure she had no fever.

"Artie, bring me the bowl of soup which is in the kitchen."

The elf slipped away on tiptoes, before returning with the bowl that she put on the nightstand.

"You can eat it when you want to. I enchanted the soup so that it will remain hot for several hours."

Hermione nodded, slowly opening her eyes while her dizziness was disappearing.

"I'll let you rest for now," Severus said, rising from the bed on which he was sitting.

"No, wait," Hermione interrupted him, putting a hand on his arm. "I need to know how I survived..."

So Severus told her the incredible story of Clarence, or at least what he knew of it. Hermione listened intently, sometimes frowning, sometimes nodding. She would never have thought that such a potion existed, even less that she would have been in need of it one day.

"I will also prepare a balm for your neck wound, do not worry. However," he went on, "I doubt that going to your parents' house this weekend is a good idea. You need to rest, and I do not think that telling them about your little "adventure", thus worrying them, would help you with that."

Hermione realized that he certainly didn't wish her parents to be aware of what she had to do while working at his side. Suddenly, she felt some resentment toward him. It was certainly thanks to him and Clarence that she was alive, but it was mostly because of him that she had been on the verge of dying, and she could not get this idea out of her head.

"Don't worry, your wish to bring Lily back among us will not leave this house. It isn't because I almost died that it has to change, isn't it?" she blurted out, with more disdain in her voice than she would have liked.

"This is not what I meant," Severus replied, frowning.

"Listen, I don't want to talk about that now. I don't want to talk about it, period. I would like to rest now, please," she murmured without looking at him.

Clenching his teeth, Severus slowly rose from his bed and walked to the door. He closed it behind him without another look at her.

**XxX**

"Is she awake?" asked Clarence to Severus once he was in the living room, with a dark scowl on his face.

"Yes. And she's as stubborn as usual."

"Contrarily to what one might think, being close to death does not change us that much, Severus. Sometimes, Theresa suffered from chronic insomnia after using this antidote, but as far as I know, she always remained the same afterward," he replied with a smile.

"I did not ask so much..." Severus murmured as he put on his cloak. "Can I take you home, Clarence? I guess you'll be more comfortable in a familiar place."

"Thank you, Severus," Clarence answered with a nod.

They went to the garden where they apparated a minute later. Clarence took a deep breath once they arrived at his shop, shaking his head.

"I think that my reluctance to Apparate is stronger than ever," he muttered, unlocking his door.

The two men crossed the front door, but Severus stayed on the doorstep.

"I will not stay long. Although she does not seem too pleased to see me, it seems that Hermione needs me," Severus said, readjusting his cloak over his shoulders.

Clarence nodded.

"Oh, by the way, my dear Severus, why were you so close to these Acromantulas? Do you need a bit of the venom of that terrible beast?"

Severus froze, suddenly interested in the direction their discussion seemed to be going.

"I am not the one who said it," he merely replied, waiting for further information from the Muggle apothecary.

Clarence, without saying a word, walked to the back of his shop, and then returned with a small vial in his right hand.

"As you may know," he began in a low voice, "I used a sample of several venoms to prepare the potion that was used to save our young Hermione. However, the Acromentula's venom, as well as some dragons' venom, is much more powerful than the venom of small creatures such as a Doxy for example. This is why I hadn't used the entire sample that my dear Theresa had brought me at the time. So I treasured a few vials of the venom of some creatures, like this one... I don't know if this is enough for the use you intend to do with it, but...," Clarence said, depositing with infinite care the vial in Severus' open hand.

The man with the black cloak didn't answer right away, and merely kept his attention on the slightly dusty vial that was now resting in his hand. In this small vial was the most dangerous ingredient and the rarest - except the Dragon Horn he had also received from Clarence - he needed to make his potion. In this small vial was the answer to all his problems, and he realized that they could have avoided all of this drama if he had simply asked it of apothecary.

"Clarence, I... I don't know what to say, I did not think that you had the Acromentula's venom..."

"Ah, Severus, you'd be surprised to know everything that I own," the old man replied with a wink. "However, I do know that I surely wouldn't have said that I had it before last night..."

"What made you change your mind?" Severus asked, surprised.

"_You_, my dear Severus. I discovered last night another aspect of your personality, a more human part of your character. Seeing you fighting for this young woman, in the same way I have fought to save Theresa at the time made me realize that you were a good man, Severus. If you need this Acromentula's venom, I do not doubt that it is for a necessary thing and for a laudable goal."

Severus swallowed hard, realizing that the trust that Clarence was placing in him was certainly not deserved. However, he nodded and closed his hand on the vial, then putting it in a pocket of his robe.

"I will be eternally grateful for this, Clarence. How many galleons do I owe you?"

"Oh, don't bother, Severus. Realize your project, that's all I ask. Make good use of it..."

Severus nodded once again before turning on his heel and disappearing into the small alley he used to apparate.

In the end, every problem had a solution.


	21. XXI - I Need You

Chapter 21, here it goes. 21 is one of my lucky numbers, so well, I hope that you'll like this chapter. Still the aftermath of Hermione's little death experience.

Thank you for your reviews, you are all amazing.

Lot of love for you. :)

PS: my wonderful Beta did an amazing work, again. ;)

* * *

**XXI. I Need You**

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you.'"

**- Erich Fromm**

* * *

Hermione was almost asleep when she heard Severus' steps coming toward his own bedroom. She had eaten half of the soup, and it had made her feel better. The dark gaze of her Master was on her, but she could see something more in his eyes: he was worried about her. But at the same time, she didn't want to be with him, not after what had happened.

"I think that I'd be better in my own bedroom," she muttered while Severus stopped at the doorstep, frowning.

"I don't know if it's a good idea for you to sleep alone. We both don't know about the after-effects of this potion, after all."

"So what do you suggest? That we share this bed?," she said with a laugh. "I don't think that it's a good idea either, to be honest."

"Why not?" Severus answered with a little smile on his lips.

"_Why not?_ Did you really say that?"

"We already slept together, if I am right..."

"We barely slept together. You left before we got the occasion to do so, remember?" Hermione whispered, looking at her hands on the duvet in order to avoid his dark gaze. All the memories of that night were coming back to haunt her, and she shook her head, as if she wanted to erase these memories from her mind. It wasn't the place nor the time to think about this night that they had shared together.

She saw him take a step further, and waited for him to sit down on the bed, next to her.

"You are right, Hermione. And I want to apologize for that. I should have understood that this was something important to you... It was your first time, after all."

"First time or not, I don't think that any woman would appreciate to be treated like that."

Severus looked at the woman that was sitting in his bed. He had never brought a woman in his bed before, and he thought that she looked good where she was. She was beautiful, with her long hair spreading on her shoulders in curls, and her pale face. She looked up to see him, and he could see her chestnut eyes looking right through him, as if she wanted to read his mind. Unconsciously, his hand grabbed the phial that Clarence had given him a few minutes ago, and he let out a little sigh.

"What is going on?," Hermione asked, frowning.

"Nothing. It is just that all of this...," Severus began, making a gesture with his hands, "all of this was a mistake."

"I don't understand," she said, clenching her hands on the duvet, as if she was scared of what he was about to say. What was a mistake? Her presence in his bed? Their collaboration?

"The whole Acromentula's venom adventure. It was a mistake from me to bring you there, and I am sorry, Hermione. You could have died there, and it would have been my fault, _my fault only_. You are just a child, and..."

"I am not a child anymore, Severus," she interrupted him, still frowning. "I haven't been a child since the day I passed your doorstep, one month ago. Living with you made me realize a lot of things, and... I am not a child anymore," she repeated, more firmly this time.

"If you say so," Severus said, twisting his lips in a fake smile. "Anyway," he continued when he saw that Hermione was about to interrupt him again, "I should not have brought you in this adventure with me. There were so many risks, so many chances that this could fail. It was a great mistake."

Was he still talking about the Acromentula's venom quest? In the bottom of her heart, Hermione was wondering if there was a chance that he was talking about _something else_, something more general... She saw Severus pass a hand on his face, and she felt her heart melt. _Maybe_...

"I want to ask you a question, Severus, and I want a clear answer if you don't mind," she heard herself ask.

Their eyes met, and she knew that he would tell her the truth, no matter what she was about to ask.

"Just ask," he muttered.

Hermione swallowed with some difficulty, her throat still sore even with all the liquid that she had drunk since she had woken up.

"Did you abandon this whole Lily's resurrection thing?," she whispered.

There was a silence; a silence long enough for Hermione to become worried about his upcoming answer. She wanted him to say that he didn't want to go further in this direction, that all of this was a mistake. She didn't know why she wanted him to say that. In the end, Severus was just pursuing his own happiness, and his happiness seemed to be with Lily Evans by his side.

The older wizard took a minute or two to think about what he wanted to say to Hermione. During this minute of two, his hand was clenched around the phial of Acromentula's Venom in his robe. And during this time, his mind was one year back, when Lily was upon him, a smile on her face, nursing his wounds like he was the most important person to her. But then, he saw Hermione, Hermione who was next to him, in his bed, her big chestnut eyes focused on him. She was his future, not Lily.

But at the same time, he wanted to try; to try this potion, to see where it would bring him. Of course, he wouldn't do it with Hermione's blood, as he was supposed to do at the beginning. He just wanted to use the phial of blood that she had given him the day before and see what would happen.

His mind was torn between these two ideas, but in the bottom of his heart, he knew that it was a mistake to try to bring Lily back among them. Hermione was here, and she changed everything. She changed him. But he couldn't tell her that, not after what she had endured because of him.

"You may rest now," was his only answer and he got up from the bed.

"I need an answer more than anything... _Please,_" she began, looking into his eyes. "I imagine that if you want to go through with it, we will have to go and seek this venom again," she added quickly, as if she was ashamed by what she was saying.

So that was it. That was the reason why she wanted to know, Severus thought with a sigh. For some reason, he had thought that she wanted to know because she didn't want Lily to come back among them, because _she cared for him._ Obviously, he was wrong. Slowly, he brought out the phial of the Acromentula's venom from his pocket, throwing it on his bed, close to her hands.

"Do not think about this anymore. You are safe. We tried to find it alone and we failed, so I found another way to put my hands on this venom. You must rest now,' he said in a cold voice.

With that said, he ignored her surprised look at the phial that was on her knees, and took that phial back, putting it in his robe once again.

"You can spend your days and nights here, I'll be in the third bedroom, close to your own bedroom, if you need me for a potion. Call Artie if you need anything else."

"Severus...," she whispered, but he was already gone, leaving her alone, once again.

**XxX**

Artie visited her twice that day. She came to clean up the soup bowl first, and then to bring her another meal when it was around eight o'clock. Hermione lit up the light in the bedroom, and went to the bathroom when she had finished to eat.

She observed her pale face in the mirror that was over the sink and let out a sigh. She was so pale that she could almost see the veins over her face. Without even thinking about it, she ran a bath, and got rid of her clothes before letting her body sank in the warm water. There was just a shower in her own bathroom, and it was nice to have the opportunity to use a real bathtub in these conditions. The warm water helped her to reach a perfect body temperature, and it was more effective than the duvet under which she had spent her whole day.

Hermione stayed in the bathtub during a long time, and eventually felt asleep. At first, she felt an amazing sensation taking possession of her whole naked body, of her whole soul. It was good to be here, surrounded by the warm water, her eyes closed. Nothing was important to her anymore: Severus could do whatever pleased him with this Acromentula's Venom, she wasn't the one who would stop him in his crazy journey against Death. He didn't tell her that he wanted to go through this experience, not directly, but since he seemed to have searched for the venom even if she was on his bed, sick as hell, it was for a reason.

He saved her from Death, so why couldn't he save Lily Evans as well?

_Because he means more to you than you think_, a little voice inside her head said. She tried to escape from this annoying voice and sank a little more in the warm water, and in the depths of her own mind...

**XxX**

"Please, take my hand," Severus said to her, his face surrounded by a black mist.

Hermione blinked once or twice, reluctant to take his hand, for a reason unknown to her.

"Hermione, take my hand!"

Severus' voice was more urgent now, and he came closer to her.

"I don't know, you... you seem different," she muttered, taking a step back.

"Don't act like a child, and come! I don't have all day, silly girl!"

Hermione shook her head, and looked around to see if there was another way out. But now, she was surrounded by the black fog too, and Severus' face was just a few inches from her.

"Don't touch me!," she screamed, taking another step back; but then, she felt on her back.

"You can't escape from me now...," her Master said with a smirk on his pale face, before changing himself into an Acromentula, the biggest one that she ever seen.

"No, please!," she screamed again, while the Acromentula was coming closer and closer, giving her no chance to escape.

**XxX**

"Hermione, wake up!"

She opened her eyes in a second and took a deep breath, before coughing loudly. She passed a wet hand over her face, removing her hair from it, wheezing.

She took more than a minute to notice Severus' presence next to her, a worried look on his face, his hand on her left arm.

"What happened?," she managed to ask in a whisper.

"You tell me!," Severus shouted. "You were screaming like you were attacked by someone or something, and I found you almost drowning in this bathtub! What happened, Hermione?"

He shook her arm, and Hermione tried to escape from him.

"I don't know...," she said, holding back her tears. "I just wanted to take a bath, and eventually I fell asleep. I think that I had a nightmare or something, I don't know... Please, you're hurting me."

She was scared of him after what had just happened in what seemed to be a dream to her. Severus dropped her arm, putting his hands on the rim of the bathtub.

"What happened in your nightmare? Make an effort to remember, it's important," he said with a softer voice.

"You were next to me, and you were telling me to take your hand but...," she began and stopped, trying to choose her words wisely, "you were different. It wasn't you, you were... I don't know how to say it, but I knew that it wasn't you. And then, I fell on my back, I guess, and then... You transformed. You turned into an Acromentula, and then you woke me up."

She shook her head, trying to smile, but Severus knew that she was faking it.

"It is a silly dream, really," she said, using the adjective that Severus had said in her dream. "You don't have to worry about it, I'm fine."

"No you're not, and you're in denial if you say that you are. Obviously, this little "adventure" in the other side left some marks on your mind that you can't deny, Hermione. You are in shock, and it's quite understandable after what you went through," Severus said, before getting up. "Come on, give me your hand, you'll be better in a bed. The water went cold already."

Hermione noticed that he was right. She thought that she had slept for just a couple of minutes, but she was wrong. She shivered a little, and got up from the bathtub, completely naked. She saw Severus' gaze on her, going from her head to her legs. At the beginning, she was a little disturbed to see him looking at her while she was naked, but then she remembered that he already saw her like that before.

"Can you just give me the towel behind you, please?," she asked, putting her hands in frond of her womandhood, as a reflex.

Severus' gaze left her body, and he turned to take the towel before handing it to her.

"I'll wait in the bedroom," he finally whispered, closing the door behind him.

Hermione wiped herself with the towel when he closed the door, and got out the bath, putting the towel around her body. Maybe that Severus was right after all. She finally left the bathroom, and saw Severus sitting on his bed, looking at her.

"Are you okay?," he asked.

"Yes, I'm better, thank you. I think that I'll go in my own bedroom now," she said in a whisper.

Severus came toward her and put a soft hand on her cheek. Hermione instinctively bit her lower lip.

"Don't bite your lip," Severus said, a laugh in his voice.

"Why not?," Hermione asked, raising one eyebrow.

"It makes me want to do that..."

Severus took her head in his hands and put his lips on hers, gently kissing her. Hermione let out a moan while closing her eyes. Severus' hands were caressing her back, and Hermione opened her mouth to let him come in. It was a sensual kiss, a good reminder of that night that they had shared two weeks ago.

They kissed for several minutes, and Hermione had to keep a hand on her towel to prevent it from falling at her feet. Severus noticed it, and kissed her more fervently to make her let go of her towel. To make her let go, period.

She did as he wanted, and she was finally naked between his arms, her breasts close to his chest, touching the rough fabric of his robe.

The questions that were on her mind some hours before were just a souvenir now. She needed this; she needed his body next to hers. She needed his kisses all over her body, on her mouth, on her neck. _She needed him_.

* * *

Ok, I have to admit it: I was listening to Boyz II Men when I wrote this chapter, haha, that explains A LOT. Damn, I remember that I discovered this band "thanks to" my dear sister who was a fan when she was a teenager (and I was... Well, 10-12 year-old).

Anyway. Hermione needs Severus. Severus knows that he loves her, sort of. Now what?

To need someone is not the same as loving him, right? And it can be a little disturbing to see them in the arms of each other when they both think that they're useless in each other life.

But...

We'll talk about it in the next chapteeeer, stay tuned folks!


End file.
